Thread by @rdonoghue

One little point on Safety & Communication tools in games.

These are not weird SJW ideas, these are things that get serious investment from business and government in the interest of high functioning teams and badass warriors.

It’s serious stuff and worth catching up with.

You’re not obliged to take games seriously.

But if you do (and I do) then safety & communication are simply practical concerns, like logistics, scheduling and snacks. They’re not a source for drama, they’re just good practices.

This is not because it helps anyone else (though it does). It’s because it’s how we help ourselves. These things lead to better interactions and better play, and their payoff is substantial.

I don’t need to exaggerate this. It’s genuinely very basic stuff.

And I *understand* if you’re skeptical. You heard about the X-Card and it sounded like some weird, hippie thing. Especially when someone else in your group called out how dumb it was.

Maybe you don’t need this stuff.

Maybe you are your true, honest self with your group. You can speak and know you are heard. You know your opinions will be respected and considered, and you can be vulnerable, creative, risk taking and brave.

If so, that’s awesome

But my hunch is that if that’s your situation, you already understand how important safety and communication are.

The short of is is this - when we enter a space where we don’t feel safe, we take actions to keep feeling safe. We armor up, minimize risks, take things carefully, calculate minimax and definitely don’t go out on a limb to extend trust.

This is totally reasonable. And for many of us, there are so few spaces, that we have gotten used to needing to be “on” all the time. That’s rough, but I get it.

This is a functional mode, but it puts you at a disadvantage for any activities involving:
- Creativity
- Engagement with other people
- Expression
- Sustained, relaxed focus

Which means, among other things, it puts you at a disadvantage for PLAYING GAMES.

I am not saying “Use Safety Practices because It’s good!”, I am saying “Learn these practices so you can improve those bullets (among other things)”. There’s more to it, of course, but that, right there, is a simple, substantial, concrete benefit that comes at a very small cost.

I am not saying “Use safety practices because you’re a bad person who is making people unwelcome at your shitty table” I am saying “We like games, and maybe try these things because they can make games better.”

And I want to acknowledge that sense of accusation. A lot of knee-jerk response to safety discussions is driven by a “ARE YOU SAYING MY TABLE IS UNSAFE?”

No, man.

I am saying the whole goddamned world is unsafe.

I’m also saying there are ways we can make it maybe a little bit better in the spaces we control, and in doing so have more fun with the hobbies and people we love.

This is not a condemnation. It’s just a small, pragmatic hope.

I dunno. I’m tired. The folks who are doing this seriously have hardcore stakes - money and lives are on the line. We don’t have that kind of pressure unless we *choose* to care.

I do so choose, and I hope more people do too.

Also, I choose to get some sleep, because I am goddamned tired.

But I ended up following @KiennaS - who has good things to say on this topic - and that’s enough of a victory for one night.

Take care, folks. Stay safe.

@KiennaS :checks first post:

“little point”

Thanks, brain. You’re the worst.