Thread by @paushinski

Guuuuuyyyysss...

Kamemenuka ile mbaya. The Estate Chairman and his wife have been leftishwad from the Estate WhatsApp group.

It's total arnachy in here. Even people who don't speak are bow speaking. It's chaos.

#KeepsGettingBetter
#FormNiGani

Someone has brought them back. Stima zote za Esto zimewaka. It's a long story and I really want to explain but sitaki action inipite.

Crap... Milango zinafunguliwa.

By the way ni 256 amechuja chairman na Bibi yake. Someone is walking towards 256.

Yooo... It's the chairman.

Bibi ya chairman ametoka Kwa WhatsApp group tena. Amesema, 'I cannot be in the same space with primitive people.'

Meanwhile chairman amevaa boxer na vest and he is trying to take down the gate of 256. He is demanding to speak to 'This Woman Who Lives Here!'

108 amerudisha Bibi ya Chairman tena. Amemwambia atulie 'uone vile tunataka ku-deal na huyu mama!'

Watchmen wamekuja area.

No one in house number 256 is moving. Ata wamezima Stima. Ni kama wamehama. Wanacheza nichi mbaya!

Shyeeee...

Nini inasumbua 256 ametoa Bibi ya chairman tena. Why is this person like this???

She's even said so long as she is alive & admin that woman and her husband will not be in that estate WhatsApp group.

She's said all the neighbors should let her say a few things first.

Hayaaaa...

Ozband amefungua Stima na mlango ya balcony. Wanarushiana maneno kwa Esto.

Chairman: I would like to have a word with the woman who lives here.
Ozband: Why are you looking for her?
Chairman: I don't have time. Call her.

Ozband is calling 256 to come out. He's mad.

So Ozband has asked 256 why Chairman is looking for her, and she has said she leftishad them.

He asks why, and now she has said she doesn't like they are speaking on the group as if everyone else is a child.

Aki Bibi ya chairman hajawai ongea ata once kwa group. 256 is sobbing.

188 has said, 'Huyu Mama niliwaambia tumfukuze, nyinyi mkadhania namdharau.'

108: Huyu leo halali na Amani.

Ule msichana wa NIC naye, 'Argh, we are trying to sleep.'

188: If you were really sleeping you would not be reading the messages on the chats. Ama nin bundles nikutumie?

Hahahaha...

256 amewasha alarm ya Nyumba. Saa hii ni G4S tunangoja.

Bibi ya Chairman pia amewasili. She is pleading with the chairman to go back home.

Chairman is listening to his wife. A good quality of a chairman is the ability to listen. Especially to your wife.

Hii mtaa..

The Chair has vowed, 'If by tomorrow evening you are still living in this estate, then I am not a true chairman. And I am not the one who will leave.'

256: Chairman, I will not leave. And I will not leave. Even if who you take me where.'

108: Vile naona, 256 ni wewe unaenda.

Manze.

Chairman has resigned.

😔😔😔

'It's been a pleasure serving you as your chairman. I am sure we can find a replacement ASAP. I am still a part of this community. Feel free to visit for a cup of tea. See you around, neighbors.'

He has also left the group.

108 amejaaaam.

G4S walikuja wakaambiwa it was a mistake by Ozband.

Kuna Makutano kwa Chairman inafaa ianze 7:30. Kuna chai by the way.

I hope kuna pancakes na sausages ama tuyelele na bacon. Huyu chairman ni chairman pia Kwa kupikia wageno. Hapendi ujinga.

Tunataka kujua kweli #FormNiGani.

By the way hapa kwa Le Estate, there are only 2 houses that don't bring unnecessary drama.

The chairman's house. And mine. Even if you ask who.

But our chairman is such a nice chap. Hana mambo hataaaaa. Very helpful and works hard to make out lives in Le Estate much easier.

Kai...

118 amekuja na printout ya petition to ask 256 to move out. And the first person to sign is 108.

Amesema 'hatumtaki hapa.' Niko radar ya 108 mbaya. He is the one who finished the pancakes for the rest of us at last meeting? Ninamcheki sana.

Head of security is here too.

Sawa. The meeting has resolved we have to keep the chairman, but 256 has to apologize in writing (the world is a cycle) or she moves out.

108 has said Ozband can stay, but 256 has to go.

188 amesema wanaenda wote, including their housie. We call her FBI. Huyo FBI ni mdakuuuuuu.

Also, 108 is collecting donations and gifts to get movers to help with the moving. He has vowed to spoil all forms of peace and reconciliation.

If you know any good movers ama msee wa pick up please mtuambie tuwaweke standby.

Leo katasmell kusmell you guy my guy.

Ozband amesema tusamehe 256. 'No need to escalate a small issue.

Kuna an urgent Estate meeting tonight. Everyone must come.

Agenda:
1. Election of New Office Bearers.
2. Estate Code of Conduct.
3. Christmas Party.

Hii Christmas Party ni Ile ya kuita the guys who never show up.

And administration police ofsas are in the area.

I think watabeba vyombo za huyo mama na Lorry yao.

THIS IS HOW WE GOT HERE:

We have had lots and lost of water issues in the recent past. Hii shida haikuwako. Ilianza juzi tu. There was a week there was no drop of water. SO everyone who had water willingly shared. Especially to houses with small / infant babies. Nyumba Kumi!

In the meantime, Chairman was hustling Nairobi Water to sort it out because they said there was no rationing.

Wakatuma wakaguzi, wakatafuta shida, wakapata the pipe had been broken somewhere. They suspected a Car Wash or a construction site in the area.

They agreed to fix it.

Fixing was going to take another week or so, and everyone was completely out. So Chairman akaita mkutano kwa group. Akasema we need to jikaza a bit akiwaekea wasee wa maji pressure.

Si ndio?

Haya.

Alafu Chairman na ile roho yake poa, akasema, we can call those water tank guys.

Kukakuwa na kujadiliana hapa na kule, but most guys were for the idea. Kwanza huyo 256 was like, hiyo ndio the best idea amewahi sikia na hiyo ndio iwe form.

Tukapiga mahesabu, we agree on number of tankers and how distribution will happen.

So we agree on equal contributions.

Chairman confirms to everyone and everyone is like, 'It's a go!' Ule msee wa House Number 61, works for Gava, said he has water, but he will still chip in for a tank.

Wasee wa waba wakadungiwa simu, tukaambia time ya deliveries na orodha vile imepangwa.

Wacha tujionee sarakasi.

Maji zililand hivi, 256 na FBI wakadivert tank mbili hadi kwao. So everyone was to get about 3,000 ltrs, hao manze walijaza kila kitu mpaka chupa za Fanta za 1900.

Mpaka vijiko.

So essentially she took what was meant for 4 houses, into one.

Luckily water was a lot.

Sasa jana,

Some guys have already started sending cash to Estate Treasurer & posting notifications on WhatsApp.

Some guys said they were low on cash and will send later. Eventually, most guys paid. Except, you know who.

Chairman tells Treasurer to use bank reserves, and we will replenish.

Treasure collects what's in the service fee, security etc account akamalizana na watu maji.

Akapost kwa group, 'We have settled the water guys using our bank reserves, can those who have not paid their part please do so asap or tell us when you can do it?

256 zikamshikia hapo.

Akasema if we had money in the account, why is the Treasurer still collecting more money from those who have not been able to pay.

256: Tutachanga tukipata shida zingine.
Treasurer: 'Those who have paid are the usual ones. Yet they used most water.
256: Are you talking to me?

108: Wewe Mama Quencher lipa pesa ya maji wacha kusumbua watu.
256: This discussion is for people who live in Main Houses. Not SQs and extensions.
108: Kwa sababu SQ hazina taps?
256: Young man, keep quiet.

Chairman: Those who need to make payments do so and stop sideshows.

256: Chairman, I am afraid I will not be able to pay. I don't see a reason why.
Chairman: I don't see what the problem is, Mama 256. Did you use the water?
256: That water was not even good. I only used it to flash the toilet and wash the floor. Not fit for consumption.

108: Has anyone of us died? Ama wewe unafanya kazi Ruai?

Chairman: 108, please put your phone down. You are running ahead of yourself.

108: Pole my Chairman. I have kept quiet.

Chairman: Thank you my brother.

108: Shikilia hiyo. 👊

256: Why is 108 posting limunating signs?

Chairman: 256, can we finalize on why you are not going to pay yet you took most water.
256: But 61 paid for water and he did not use it. Why should I pay? You can deduct it from my service charge.
Treasurer: Why are we going round in circles. Please pay and shut up your mouth.

Hapo ndio kakaumana.

188: This is what in consultancy we call, 'Water Wars.'
256: You cannot tell me to shut up my mouth. Who are you to tell me. Even my husband doesn't speak to me like that. You must apologise.
Treasurer: We will apologise after MPesa notifications only.

Alafu BOOM....

Chairman aka post Service Charge defaulters list, na 256 ndio wanashikilia number 1, sixth month in a row!

Chairman: This is the current list of defaulters. Everyone do the needful.
256: Chairman I feel you have disrespected me and my house, and I am offended.

Chairman: As you can see everyone, we have depleted all the resources in the kitty and it needs to be topped up.
256: When my husband was chairman, he never posted the list pf defaulters in the group. He sent written notes.
108: Wewe mama, Uhuru amesema tuwache kukata miti!

256: @108, When you are able to pay real rent, please talk.

NIC Gyal: Can you stop making noise?

108: Oneni huyu? Are you hearing words?

NIC Gyal: Grow up. Toka SQ. Jaribu nyumba.

108: I kif up. Chairman take over.

Chairman: Just pay. We will talk other things later.

256: You are incompetent and do not respect the office of the chairman. You do not deserve to hold this position. You have to act the office. And you have children...
Chairman: You also have children and do not pay service charge, yet you stole water?
256: I am removing you.

And just like that, Chairmans akaleftishwa! And we have AP Officers in the compound.

Ata 108 amesema ahame aingie hapo ndio watu wajue ni nyumba amekosa, sio ati rent ndio issue.

108: Kila saa mnanirushia mdomo juu ya hii hao yangu mnaiita SQ. Wacheni nichukue hiyo palace sasa.

Water Wars.

188 has said that in the near future, with increase in populations and the pressure for resources, there are going to be frequent water wars. People are going to fight crazy just to access water. And people will arm themselves to protect their water.

#FormNiGani

If we do not do anything to arrest the situation kanaweza nuka mbaya sana.

What we are seeing with pastoralist invading farmlands across the board will look like a toi's game. Water wars will be bad.

We really need to check resources with the future of us in mind.

#FormNiGani

Anyway,

Wacha twende meeting leo tusikie!

Mkutano imeong'oa nanga na maombi.

Ulemama wa 'rrrrrrababosheteeee' ametuanzisha na maombi.

We are all waiting for the Christmas party details.

256 is a no-show. Ozband is here super embarrassed. Kuna chai at least.

108 has moved a motion to start throwing things out.

Chairman anamuambia acheze chini. Truck fulani iko chonjo pia. We think it's the one people changad for.

256 has removed everyone from the WhatsApp group.

Imagine we have all been leftishwad while in this crazy meeting.

😭😭😭

We have no Estate WhatsApp group guys.

We are destitute.

Yooo... the drama continues here...

👇👇👇

https://twitter.com/paushinski/status/1149190605203038209?s=19