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We are closer now than ever before to stories like this one becoming a dark part of NI history.
#TheNorthIsNOW
#TheNorthIsNOW
"My husband and I were expecting our second child. We were told at our 12 week scan at the end of August 2018 that there was a problem. They suspected that it was anencephaly. This is a fatal condition where the babies skull and brain do not develop.
Most of these pregnancies will continue to full-term and the babies will die during labour or within hours of being born. I couldn't fathom continuing with a pregnancy for another half of a year.
How could I try to continue parenting my toddler, continue working and functioning normally while growing a baby that was doomed to die?
We had to wait for over a week to see a consultant to confirm the diagnosis. Only then could we start the process of trying to access care in England.
Living in Northern Ireland I was told by my consultant that abortion was illegal - he would not even consider the impact on my mental health or the fact that I have a family history of severe mental illness. He didn't even ask.
The law here is so restrictive and professionals are so afraid of threats from previous health ministers that they would be subject to murder charges if they participated in an abortion.
The law here also gives those who would personally object to performing or participating in an abortion a means to deny care without any compulsion to refer a woman to an alternative provider who might interpret the law differently.
They would not discharge me despite knowing that another hospital would have interpreted the law to allow me to be cared for at home.
I was left entirely on my own and had to figure out how to access care in England, where to go, what options were available, trying find out the difference between medical termination, surgical termination, feticide - terms I'd never heard before and had no professional support.
They washed their hands of me. I made countless phone calls and had to explain my situation over and over and over and over again before finding a hospital that would care for us properly as grieving parents.
The journey to England began on a Friday morning and ended on Monday evening. It is documented from start to finish on twitter (twitter.com/homerather).
I shared our journey so that people would understand the impact of this law, not in an abstract sense, but the real lived experience of what our country put us through.
Every moment of that journey was torture. I have missed out on opportunities since returning to work because I can't bring myself to go through that airport again.
I haven't returned my hospital notes yet because I couldn't cope with returning to collect my child's ashes so the notes are the only physical evidence I have that he existed.
Even though we desperately want another child I am afraid to conceive as there is a risk that we would have to go through that torture again.
I will never forgive the people who put us through that journey. I will never not feel the impact of being exiled and discarded by my home.
Every moment of inaction by Westminister is another moment of torture for me and families like mine - and believe it or not, we are lucky. We had the financial means to travel, a journey that cost us over £1,000.
Even though we no longer have to pay for care in England it still costs us. We had the support of family to look after our firstborn while we traveled, others don't.
Even though we no longer have to pay for care in England it still costs us. We had the support of family to look after our firstborn while we traveled, others don't.
We do not have any restrictions on our movement, either as a result of physical disability, a controlling abusive relationship or travel restrictions as a foreign national, others don't have that freedom."
If you would like to anonymously share your experience, please email ihsnorth@gmail.com or message this page. Your story will be treated with the utmost respect and your personal information will be kept confidential.
