Thread by @snickerpants

Made a friend this weekend.
(Don't read this thread if eyeballs gross you out.)

Helped @duck13x with a pig roast at a send-off party this weekend. As we're carving up the roast, this intense looking little girl walked over and pointed to the head of the pig.
#WTFparenting

7 yo: Did someone already get the eyeballs?
*points to roasted pig*
Me: uh...no?
7 yo: Can I have one? I like eyeballs.
Me: Are you sure?
Her Dad: She says she likes them.
*shrugs*
7 yo: Yes. I like eyeballs.
Me: Hooo-kaay.

#thatsnotweird #WTFparenting

We extract the eyeball and hand it over. She is very excited about it, immediately pops it into her mouth. Proud dad smiles proudly. Eyeball girl smiles back.

#WTFparenting

I am impressed. She is so calm! Proud Dad wanders off proudly. Meanwhile, I fight the urge to hurl because this confident 7 yo girl just put an eyeball in her mouth.

#WTFparenting #SoGross #YouDoYouKid

But 2 seconds later, the scene changes. By the look developing on her face, it is clear she has not thought this all the way through. She gets very still as she assesses her predicament.

Although she has proclaimed to a yard full of strangers that she LOVES EYEBALLS, she now realizes that eyeballs are actually quite gross and she has one in her mouth. For a full minute she does not move. Then she looks up and calmly announces:

"But not THIS eyeball."

Again, I am impressed. Even though we are about 5 seconds away from barf-city, she remains calm. I realize this is because she's still unsure of what to do. She can't eat it (gross) but everyone will probably laugh if she spits it out.

AHA! NOT ON MY WATCH, KID.

I've been there. Not with eyeballs (still gross) but I've been that confident little girl making silly mistakes in front of adults. I know how much it hurts when they laugh at you.

I don't know how her eyeball fascination started but I was going to give it a quick, quiet ending.

I leaned over and whispered, "Behind you. Go spit it out in the shrubbery. It'll be okay." She looked scared. I pointed behind her and nodded. She ran. While she yerped it into the landscaping, I quickly changed the conversation.

#notherefordrama

After that we were friends. We chatted off and on all night. It was delightful.

No real moral to this story other than a gentle reminder to please don't embarrass kids. Don't laugh at their innocence. They're actual people who will remember it if you do.

Anyway, sorry for the rogue eyeball in the landscaping, @jennk60 It was a great party!