Thread by @Jessicae13Eaton

Know what’s worse than the guilt we put on women and girls who didn’t report their rapist when eventually he goes on to rape another girl?

The guilt those women and girls feel when they DID report their rapist, our CJS did fuck all and then he raped another girl.

Shit system.

I reported my rapists and the police did nothing and he raped a 16yo girl after me. We both have babies by the same rapist.

Then me AND her went together to report him and the CJS did nothing again.

Then he attacked a 17 year old girl after us both.

Then ME HER AND THE OTHER GIRL reported him again and they did nothing.

We decided to do a Clare Law Disclosure on him to protect the 4th victim. Police did nothing.

Then he attacked and got her pregnant and beat her when she was 26 weeks pregnant and the baby was born prem.

Guess who still lives in the house with the child and the woman?

We’ve done every referral and report we can. Nothing has been done. We wait for the day he kills a woman.

We all felt immense guilt for each girl/woman he attacked after each of us. We are all still friends.

We are all older now. Our babies are all 8-11yrs old. We all moved on or moved out. But we still wrestle with that feeling that we could have protected the others.

We are lucky we know each other and could support each other. I went to the trials of the other girls.

People wonder why I don’t advocate reporting male violence anymore.
4 reasons:

1. Conviction rate in UK is 0.3%
2. Didn’t help any of the girls I knew
3. Hasn’t helped thousands of the women and girls I have known in my decade career
4. Guilty doesn’t mean ‘all better now’

Research evidence repeatedly shows that reporting male violence actually harms women and girls more than not reporting

victimfocus.wordpress.com/2019/01/17/why…

If you’re feeling guilty about not reporting the man who raped or abused you; don’t.

Don’t take one fucking ounce of his responsibility OR the responsibility of our shit CJS system that likely would have NFAd or found not guilty anyway.

Love yourself, support yourself.

It’s not your job to protect all his victims in the future.

It’s not your fault if he continues to be a horrible human being who harms and abused others.