Thread by @segalink

2006 it was after our newly built company launched. We were feeling fly and unboxing equipment straight from Apple Store in the United States. All our prayers had just been answered, even up to the specs of the paper clip. We were invincible, elated & high. #StartUpFails

Money wasn’t the issue. We got all we asked and more as backup. We even got two smashing buildings on the quiet side of town all ready to warehouse our magic. Talents were trooping in and our connection in the industry attracted clients like Sugar does to ants. #StartUpFails

We knew what we were up against and were passionate to face the challenge. “The Quartet” as we were fondly called, with each representing a segment of the industry. I was like the Holy Spirit of the group with the eye on the vision & mind on what each & every brings to the table.

Suffice to say in a few months of operation we had the happiest and youngest workforce in Sub-Saharan Africa and succeeded where many have drowned. Soon we became the one stop Centre for media and entertainment. Others that followed took lessons from us. See Soundcity etc

Having dominated the industry with the best hands in town that work as though they are running their own business. We started creating top rated contents for major TV stations. I then decided to diversify by providing Internet Solution for the estate. Thanks to my team.

We became the most affordable and realiable ISP in the estate & extended our services over the lagoon to Ikoyi. We felt like Titanic & the thought of sinking never crossed our mind. Our future felt so bright we almost took loans to secure the ownership of RayBan sunglasses firm.

Just as our income rose so did the number of staffer grew both from those sent by investors, pre-installed with a putrid sense of entitlement and others we brought in ourselves with capacity to enable our breaking new grounds in the burgeoning multimedia market. #StartUpFails

We had all the most powerful creatives in the house including Cobhams who shipped his entire activity into our domain. We had the best backlines that will make any foreign artiste salivate. We never thought anything can go wrong until... #StartUpFails

(By now many of you will be playing the horrific Nollywood sound effect now that is if you are not hooked on Paloma that uses action soundtrack even when the casts are merely eating at the dining table. I’m just saying save the sound effect for later & concentrate) #EditorsNote

...the first year ended and we all had a ball. Bonuses, salaries and promises for better. The expression on the faces of my colleagues at work (as I always call them) were priceless. The forecast for the coming year were greater than the kills of the 300 Army of Spartan!

We resumed work in January 2007 full of Zest & piquancy but not without first being greeted by a barrage of complaints by the EstateAssociation who believed their quiet environment is now being disturbed by the urbanized city our property have become due to the influx of clients.

Secondly, an odd agenda smuggled itself into our Management meeting which is often like a boring sermon of an expired clergy. This time we couldn’t wing it as a matter regarding cutting staff came to fore & management are looking at our esteemed production team.

It was either we all take pay cuts or allow our precious youthful geniuses go. It’s like asking a father which of his kids he would like to die in his place. We humbly asked why the thin legged multi-complexioned marketing staffers are not sent packing in the stead but...

...that sounded confrontational and it was perceived as an act of insubordination. We were all given the list of staff in each department & asked to profile their relevance and recommend who gets the boot. We still didn’t know how to communicate this to our goons. #StartUpFails

The quartet wasn’t a group of chatty folks. We were known more for action and magic. Axing our troop also wasn’t one of our virtues. But in a world we’re scary marketing staffers were preferred to creatives, we swallowed our medicine like warriors.

I was nominated by the team to address our village of troops across departments. I never knew we were already hitting a hundred (production & tech staff alone minus management). A few were reluctantly let go while others took pay cuts. At this point we were down to 70+.

The management insisted that we were not making so much to cover our liabilities and recurrent expenses. This invariably led to the decision for each team lead to give a weekly report on activities and highlight areas of challenges for management intervention. #StartUpFails

To anyone who’s worked in corporate environments this may be the norm but when handling core creative people this is like holding the hand of an illustrator with the hope of facilitating an idea you want him to develop. It just won’t work & both parties will be frustrated.

It wasn’t long before those that worked overnight started boycotting the Monday leaders meetings. In no time an assembly like morning fellowship was introduced by the management which further depressed the creatives, who are now frustrated & waiting for the Axe based on realities

It wasn’t long before production costs for our most popular TV show was cut and this time we had to protest only for that to attract shutting down the entire production. Our presenters & production crew had to leave based on irreconcilable differences. This gutted the editors.

While we were observing retrogression, SoundCity was poaching our talents. Then the Quartet got summoned to yet another meeting where a new idea totally out of our rationale for setup was introduced. We are now being stampeded into making movies based on a hunch. #StartUpFails

The wild idea came from the MD, I was the Technical Controller, sometimes saddled with the ludicrous task of interpreting management decisions to techies in a language that is not so annoying. But even this was beyond me. I knew the end has come. #StartUpFails

Oh I did I mention that we had the strongest board in Africa as at the time, with all Bank MDs as members and headed by a foremost industrialist? We literally point at firms of interest and buy them off the market. I guess that was where the marketing gargoyles came from.

Also many alleged men of God were flying in to sell us stuffs that never did what they were marketed to accomplished. Millions went down the drain. A production bus was imported also by a supposed pastor but it got delivered and died under repairs.

But I digress...

Suffice to say that our financial hemorrhage would make Niagara falls jealous. In the mind of my MD, this movie making business was our silver bullet to recovery. Honestly, I really couldn’t explain why we should be in trouble in the first place if not for lack of consistency.

From the business plan we weren’t supposed to start making money in the first 3years. We were simply supposed to build culture and stabilize our process sustainably having established goodwill in the industry. We even released albums that were selling fast in the market.

The Spiritual Economics of my MD who also doubles as a contemporary pastor (by affidavit since I never saw any certificate) alleges that church people will buy anything produced with their pastor’s endorsement on it. I grew up in the church & tried to counter but...

...as at the time, I had no leverage, I couldn’t have understood the economics of an assembly I wasn’t a member of. So I succumbed and prayed that all goes well. Though my gut feeling was the same as my conviction about the fraudulent change of 2015. I saw the end from start.

Let’s take a break. This thread is getting longer than I bargained for. You May have to read the book.

*Where

I must not forget to mention that our accountant on the management side was an OND holder who got the job based on his affiliation to the investor (church) than for his qualification. In an era of Quickbooks & Peachtree this guy spends hours to prepare a single Cheque.

I couldn’t decipher why he was this incompetent given his size in the region of two Santa clauses fused together. He was the only man I knew till date, who sweats in a fully air conditioned room once there is pressure to make payments to vendors or order for services.

Anyways, I got into the office one morning and our rainy day funds for the side business (internet firm) has been drained. I was clumsily informed by the “I can’t count (as we often call him instead of —accountant) that we needed to pay producers for movie projects. I lost it!

The series of events that followed can not be expressed in tweets. When the book hits, get it. #StartUpFails 🤓