Thread by @RdotSpoon

Okay imma tweet about my experience maintaining friendships as an adult.
TW : for emotional abuse and gaslighting

https://twitter.com/rdotspoon/status/1185213337803448320

So I’ll preface this by saying a few things. I’m chunky, queer and Black. These things frame how I move through the world so what applies to me in some instances might now apply to you, but I’ll try to be more general.

I’ll also preface this by saying that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 14 years with person who hated most of my friends and tried to isolate me from them. HE DIDNT WIN, DID YA BITCH?!?

Anyway. I keep trying to pinpoint a starting point of all this but I guess it’s 2006 when I moved to LA and started meeting people I didn’t meet through school.

Adult friendships are different because school herds us all together for a certain amount of time. Adulthood isn’t like that. You have to seek people out. 😫 but it’s worth it.

I’m pretty sure all of my post college friends also work in media OR I met them through fandom. Friendship really does start with what you have in common especially for us nerds.

My healthy friendships have also made it easier to identify what I’m looking for in a future romantic partner. I know I can disagree with a friend and have a healthy conversation about it. Knowing what that looks like is a game changer.

So I made a friend on set back in 2007 and we’re still friends now. I think about why our friendship has endured and it applies to all of the friendships I’ve had my whole life. Here are a few key components that have keep our boat afloat.

EDIT. I literally added 5 tweets here and twitter ate them. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫
Here are the condensed versions.

- Communicate and communicate honestly.
- Let your friends be themselves.
- Collect and allow yourself to be collected when you’re screwing up.
- Make room for forgiveness, but know when to step back.

- Celebrate your friends high moments and validate their lows.
-Do things you both enjoy and if your friend isn’t up for something link up with someone who is.

Anyway some of this sounds simple, but maintain healthy relationship requires effort and vulnerability. Both pay off. -fin-