A thing about the ideas wrapped up in the rubric of "passing" and trans women being "male coded" or "female coded" is it assumes such a narrow view of womanhood.
I pass really well because (my personal style notwithstanding), everybody knows cis women with my shape.
I pass really well because (my personal style notwithstanding), everybody knows cis women with my shape.
In a situation where people know I'm trans or are looking for trans and gender-non-conforming people, I immediately "pass" less well because people switch which cues and markers they look for.
But otherwise? Offline and outside of queer-heavy circles, Ic can pass all day, every day. I "accidentally passed" so much before my transition, including once in an emergency room, in a men's dress shirt and tie, while seeking medical attention for a dislocated shoulder.
People who divide the world of trans women into "male coded non-passing trans women and female coded passing trans women" are assuming "women" are thin but curvy with long, straight hair and prominent cheekbones. Low key Barbie doll image of womanhood.
Back before I started with the technicolor hair and fantasy outfits, I just looked like someone's conservatively dressing aunt.
Online, where I'm openly trans, people can look at my pictures even from that era and immediately pick out the features that "look trans" to them, because they're looking for them.
But nobody ever sees a whole person. Every image you have of someone else is a series of judgments
But nobody ever sees a whole person. Every image you have of someone else is a series of judgments
I'm sure that offline I "pass" less since I made the decision to be visible and memorable, because I get more second glances, and because transgressing social norms prompts people to look for queerness.
I mean, they're not helping, but this is a broader phenomenon. They're amplifying a symptom.
You can see the exact same narrow definition of "woman" being used against cis women, by for instance incels, who will insist that no woman is interested in them, while they themselves categorically reject... not even reject, but just don't consider... women outside this model.
I mean, the gatekeeping thing is real. Doesn't help that some of the "experts" on transsexuality basically worked to codify the idea that a "successful" trans woman is one who can give them a boner.
It's so real and so weird, the disconnect between the way people who see us and know us online In Context Of Queerness imagine we look to the world and how the world actually takes us.
