Thread by @VVOMkhize

My book Umsamo Nezibi zezala, the first chapter speaks of the home. It is the responsibility of both partners in marriage to protect the home and most importantly keep it pure.

Purity of home and Umsamo is a fundamental foundation for the children of the household.

See when one does not keep the home and Umsamo pure, the marriage is at risk and so are the children. Uncleansed infidelity can cause the home to be impure. Committing murder, raping someone even spending jail time - all of these bring impurities into the home.

When a man cheats on his wife and comes home, apart from the potential diseases, he also brings home a tainting. He has broken the vow made to abadala. And this must be corrected. The same goes for woman.

It baffles me when people think that when a woman cheats there must be cleansing and an apology yet men can get away with anything. Again, a misconception developed to absolve men of accountability.

So when I say you ukuthi you are Umsamo. Umsamo wakho is your mother and father. This is what I mean. Building a home is not easy. You have to make hard decisions but at all times you must put your home and family first.

So whenever you make decision, think about who is going to affected by this decision. And if you’ve made the mistake , take it upon yourself to correct and bring purity back to the home.

And if you’re not ready to do this then it’s okay to remain single. My mother and father never married and my mother raised me and my aunt.

A “broken” home is not one where there is only one parent but rather a home where the caregivers are not raising a child in a pure and clean home. This results in Umsamo wabo being problematic because where their umbilical cord is attached to is broken.

And finally to those coming from “broken” households. This is not your fault. But it is your responsibility to deal with it so that you can build a loving and prosperous home this breaking the cycle.

A “broken” man or woman cannot build a solid home and children.

This is not easy to do. So I feel for young people. But I am not asking you to do something I haven’t done myself. I too have a past. We are all human. But we all have the potential to be more than our past.

Thokoza.