Thread by @MainlandVoices

Note 18: I am just brokenhearted

"Hello, I am a 4th year university student in the mainland. I want to submit a piece about what I’ve experienced emotionally since I started to follow the news about Hong Kong.

1/13

https://twitter.com/midwaydude/status/1195229441745534976

"I started to follow the HK issue since summer began. Apart from sadness, I am also full of respect for Hong Kongers.

2/13

"It’s hard to imagine anyone in the mainland, from any age group, pursuing something non-materialistic with this kind of courage. I think the Chinese people would only call this ‘idiocy'.

3/13

"I still remember — from the start of the #AntiELAB movement — seeing a scene on a livestream where protestors put a hardhat on a reporter and gave him water (or maybe other supplies, I don’t remember clearly).

4/13

"At the time, I was stunned. I felt that this is what members of a civilized society should be like. This is totally different from the mainland.

5/13

"Later, I told my mother about this scene. She said, 'Yes, this is what decent people do. But for your future, change the display picture of your Weibo account.’

6/13

"Inside the firewall, the smear campaigns against Hong Kong are painful to watch. My father is part of the first generation of intellectuals that China cultivated after the Cultural Revolution. Today he showed me an article from the Global Times; I was enraged.

7/13

"Not just because of his ignorance, but also because my country’s intellectuals somehow have nothing left to look back on.

8/13

"On Weibo, my friends and upperclassmen were sharing sob stories about mainland students escaping from Hong Kong.

I uninstalled Weibo. I don’t think I will ever go back on it again.

9/13

"I have a friend from Hong Kong; he calls protestors “cockroaches”. I believe that for him to say this as a Hong Konger, he must have his own reasons, but I am still sad about it.

10/13

"I don’t want to judge, or hear other people’s judgment. I’m just sad…

I deactivated the Twitter account where we were following each other.

11/13

"I’m someone who doesn’t have friends, and in this moment, I feel even more alone. Even though I know this loneliness is unavoidable, I still feel a great deal of pain. HK has always been THE civilized society in my mind. Even now, I respect HKers’ courage and dignity.

12/13

"I’ve written my research proposal to HKU. I used to think my fated connection with Hong Kong should go further than this, but now I am only left with an incomprehensible grief. I hope so much...or maybe I don’t have the right to hope for anything. Glory to Hong Kong.”

13/13