Given recent reports of issues with the Akash missile, I reached out to sources in the defence reporting and analysis field. One agreed to meet me undercover for fear of being identified, so I'll just call him "Gehra Gala" (GG).
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose My aim was to find out what was going on, and why these reports suddenly surfaced out of nowhere several years after first deployment. With great difficulty I persuaded GG to meet me, which he finally did very late one night. He was heavily disguised, in a beard and a henna wig.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose He stopped his autorickshaw about a hundred metres away from my car, looked all around to see if anyone was watching, and then slowly skulked over and slid into the passenger seat of my car. I could sense the tension that was keeping him coiled like a steel spring.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose It took several moments for him to start talking. Finally, he replied to my many questions. "My friend, I have the answers, but it could be very dangerous for me to speak. Do I have your assurance of complete confidentiality?" I was perplexed, and asked him where the danger lay.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose It took a lot of promises of complete confidentiality on my sources that he finally opened up. He asked "Have you ever heard of the Presstitute Corps?" I confessed that I had not, and asked him what it was. His answer took my breath away. He spoke in song, not prose.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose "Attend to me closely, young padawan, and learn the truth of how desi defence reporting & analysis works, except a few people who for some unknown reason, prefer to speak truth. The rest of us are members in good standing of the Presstitute Corps, and its anthem will tell all."
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose At that point he shut up and started shivering again, mumbling about the terrible things the Presstitute Corps and their backers and funders would do to him if they ever found out. I had to take him to a little known bar and pour several shots of booze into him before he resumed.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose This is what he sang, calling it the Presstitute Anthem:
We lie, we’re sly
We set up the troops to die
We weep crocodile tears
As we play on your fears
That’s the presstitute way!
We lie, we’re sly
We set up the troops to die
We weep crocodile tears
As we play on your fears
That’s the presstitute way!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose We broadcast secret ops for gain
Don’t care for the NSG’s pain
Laugh at casualty lists
Cash clutched in our fists
Yeah, that’s the presstitute thing!
Don’t care for the NSG’s pain
Laugh at casualty lists
Cash clutched in our fists
Yeah, that’s the presstitute thing!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose We endorse foreign armament works
Be they American or be they Turk
We slander domestic products to the hilt
And thus fortunes are built
Yay, that’s how we presstitutes roll!
Be they American or be they Turk
We slander domestic products to the hilt
And thus fortunes are built
Yay, that’s how we presstitutes roll!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose Of thermoclines we prate
Facts we happily syncopate
If it ain’t a lie
No way we’ll let it fly
Yep, that’s the presstitute sanction!
Facts we happily syncopate
If it ain’t a lie
No way we’ll let it fly
Yep, that’s the presstitute sanction!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose The truth is for losers
We’d rather be serial abusers
Honesty is a lurgy
We’d rather have an orgy
Hooray, that’s how we win the race!
We’d rather be serial abusers
Honesty is a lurgy
We’d rather have an orgy
Hooray, that’s how we win the race!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose A lifafa for me, a lifafa for you
A lifafa for all that do
You’ll never be destitute
If you’re a presstitute
Aye, that’s the presstitute creed!
A lifafa for all that do
You’ll never be destitute
If you’re a presstitute
Aye, that’s the presstitute creed!
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose I asked him about the origins of the song. He replied that all the members at meetings of the Presstitute Corps that established a quorum had to sing it, and that they stood in serried ranks to proudly bellow it as a mark of their creed.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose Several drinks later I managed to persuade him to somehow get me into one of those secret meetings, as I was absolutely intrigued about this secret society that sought to control the future of India's defence strategy and industry. he said he'd think about it.
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose I'm waiting expectantly, and will report as soon as I manage to gain entry to the hallowed precincts of the Presstitutes Corps and find out what it's all about. Until then...
@hukum2082 @nileshjrane @elmihiro @bennedose @threadreaderapp unroll thread
