Thread by @NAN_DINI_

The Anatomy of an Indian Liberal #CAA

~Class ~
Privileged, educated, whatchoo wearing to the protest?

~First Language~
English.
Discovered that Kaafiron se Azaadi has such a goosebumpy ring to it.
(Someone just told us that we’re the Kaafirs…go onnnn…!)

~Religious Denomination~
Sort of Hindu. You know that Attithi Devo Bhava stuff & that Kutumba Kutumba.

~Celebrations~
These Hindutva types must be brought to their knees before Christmas, New Year. Its a really busy time & so many of us are booked to go away …
Hotel cancellations can be killing & moreover, Rahul has to visit his Nani.

~Food~
Love mulled wine & Christmas cake but thinking of eating all the Biriyani we can because our Muslims friends are going to be taken away to concentration camps ! Thanks to fascist Modi, we might never eat Biryani again !!

~Personal Statement~
Give us a cause.
(Preferably in good weather & with Farhan Akhtar attending)

Also it’s kinda cool wearing that Hijab & showing your finger.

~Opinion~
Some of our grandparents came penniless from Lahore, Rawalpindi, Sialkot but we know if they were alive today they wouldn’t want those who were left behind to be now allowed in - to enjoy democracy, opportunity, freedom of worship, equality.… Naah !

~Syncretic Culture~
Giving citizenship to persecuted Hindus & Sikhs doesn’t make Indian culture syncretic, duh.

~Lexicon~
Aapko darr toh nahi lag raha hai ?

~Mission Statement~
Our comfort depends on an ample supply of the poor.
So let everyone in ! Someone after all has to walk the dog, clean the car.
What do we care as long they our gated condo has two tier security…

Oops, are we confusing #CAB with #NRC …?

Imagine how these fascists work.
They are dividing us by creating confusion. They called it CAB & are now referring to it as CAA. Then they told us there’s something called NRC…
We are not fools you know. We know what you are doing !

~Motto~
Hum Passport Nahi Dikhaenge.
(What if they keep it, lose it. I’ve got a ten year US visa, yaar.)

The Fluctuating Flow of The Liberal Lexicon
#CAA

~Profile of Interactions ~
Person who agrees - Informed, Intellient.
Person who disagrees - Troll. Most Likely Member of BJP IT Cell

~Classification~
Student who supports Left, Congress party - Student
Student who supports BJP - ABVP Activist

~Profile of Protestor~
Protest march against #CAA - Civil Society
March in support of #CAA - BJP Karyakartas

Protest march against #CAA - Secular
*includes people who chant religious slogans, clad in burqas, skull caps*

March in support of #CAA - Communal

*reboot*
Protest march against #CAA - Secular
*AGAINST persecuted minorities in Islamic countries finding succour in India. carry the national flag with a slogan across ~There is only One God ~
bet it’s Lord Ram or is it Christ ? …& wait, they’re singing the national anthem*

March in support of #CAA - Communal
*FOR persecuted minorities in Islamic countries finding succour in India. They carry the national flag, sing the national anthem & but wait, saffron flags can be seen*

~Placards~
Free Kashmir.
*its about the internet, stupid*

The Cow Ate My Documents, I Ate The Cow.
*it’s only humour, stupid*

I’m A Virgin.
Are You A Virgin ?
Let’s Fcuk This Government!
*thats my Tinder profile, stupid*

~Mood~
Does the irony of kids screaming Azadi, Azadi with Burqa clad women clapping, escape you ?
*it’s a beautiful moment you cow piss drinking bigots !!*

Can you tell us what #CAA is all about ?
*is this a fcuking exam ? This is about my FoE, stupid*

~Also Present ~
I’m A Waiter. I’m Looking For My Missing Wife …
*what better place than this ? stupid*

I’m scared. I’m worried.
*lets make a 10 min appearance of solidarity with the segment that might have perpetuated the violence…
Ricky Gervais, who ?*

~Esteemed Secular Members~
Rana, Arfa, Shehla, Owaisi…
*no, no wait! we are not bleddy secular, we have a movement of our own ~the assertion of islamic identity!~

*ssh! Let’s continue with the list …*

Mamta,Yogendra, Barkha, Anuraag Kashyap, Swara, Javed & Family, Yechuri, Rahul …
*arre yaar, uska naam mat le, woh phir 15 bande le ayega.
by the way is Tata among those 15 ? That fascist didn’t allow us to use his loos !*

The rest of you are Hindu Nationalists scum !

~Woke~
*grabs the flag, grabs a picture of Mahatma Gandhi*

Bharat Mata ki Jai !
*we don’t say that, stupid*

Vande Mataram !
*we don’t say that either, stupid*

What’s that song we refuse to sing & stand up for ?
Jana Gana Mana ?
Yesss!
*stand up, stupid*