Thread by @MarkFrancois12

A Francois Christmas Day:

When we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the first protestant and the first patriot.

An open invitation to my neighbours to come around for bucks fizz and Pepperami at 9am is usually overlooked. I understand. Its a day of family.

Which is why it's so annoying when they then find the space in their busy schedules to come and tell me to turn down my fifth rendition of Rule Brittannia at 9.15am. Regardless, I carry on and hoist the Union Flag on the patio before retiring inside to watch the Queens Speech.

NOT! @jeremycorbyn. No its at this point of the day I drive to my local homeless shelter and offer Lambert and Butler umbrellas in exchange for them filling in my questionaire about why they can't be bothered to work. Then I go home and pop an oven ready Brexit...

I mean Jack Fulton Turkey Roast, in the microwave! Eaten alone, it gives me plenty of time to focus on my tremendous achievements of the year:
Outstaring Will Self on TV, engineering Brexit, completing an Airfix Wellington Bomber, fighting for the rights of commuters on the A127.

Then I retire to the lounge, sink my feet into the Wilton shag-pile, pour myself a quart of mulled Monster and wine, turn on the Dambusters and settle in for 12 hours of War films and trolling remainers on twitter.

God Bless you all.

Merry Christmas.

Mark Gino Francois.