In 2009, I nearly left journalism. I was punished for wanting to write about race. My pitches were shut down and I could not get a story on the front page of my regional newspaper. Newsrooms were bleeding staff so I had nowhere to go. I felt had to quit or lose my sanity.
I wanted to be a journalist since high school. I cld not bring myself to quit because I cld not think of anything else I wanted to do with my life. I remember sitting at home one day, depressed, asking was this it? Was my destiny to leave journalism w/o having done my best work?
I held on long enough to get hired by someone who wanted me to do exactly the type of work that I wanted to do, the work I knew I could do, the work you all know me for. But when I think of this last decade, I think of all those with equal talent and drive who did not make it.
I think of all the talented journalists of color who aren't doing journalism anymore because despite newsrooms saying they want diversity, few value the particular stories, insights and experiences we bring. They want phenotype diversity that simply replicates their norms.
So, while I find all the inspiring end-of-the-decade come-up stories, I never tell people who look up to me that if they just keep working hard, if they don't give up, they'll make it. Because the truth is, you can do that and still not make it.
What I do tell them is it's not worth it to make it if you have to compromise yourself, your values, your identity to get there, and in the end, to me, making it would never be worth it if you don't arrive intact and if you are content to arrive alone.
So, when I think of what I am most proud of in the last decade, it is not the awards. It's that I've tried to be the person I needed when I was trying to make it. By mentoring. By founding @IBWellsSociety. By speaking out for us. By bringing people in on things like #1619Project
@IBWellsSociety And if I have a wish for all of us who come from marginalized communities but have an end-of-decade story that finds us in positions with some level of power, is that in 2020 we all work to be for other people in our communities who we needed when we were trying to make it.
@IBWellsSociety No one is saving us but ourselves. Happy New Year, all.
