1/8
When I was 18, I interviewed for a cooperative education job at IBM. I had worked before, but had never had a REAL job interview.
I was nervous AF.
Now, I had done mock interviews at college, and the one thing they continuously said was to “be yourself” and “be open.”
When I was 18, I interviewed for a cooperative education job at IBM. I had worked before, but had never had a REAL job interview.
I was nervous AF.
Now, I had done mock interviews at college, and the one thing they continuously said was to “be yourself” and “be open.”
2/8 I have on my best church suit and shiniest church shoes. I swear I was sharp as a head deacon on the pastor’s anniversary.
I’m in there using ALL of my Caucasian words, too. I restricted my vocal cords, emphasized all the “R”s, removed the bass from my voice
I’m in there using ALL of my Caucasian words, too. I restricted my vocal cords, emphasized all the “R”s, removed the bass from my voice
3/8 (I’m sure you’ve read the code-switching manual)
I’m Ryan Seacresting the HELL out of this interview. If they didn’t hire me as to co-op, I was sure they’d hire me to record voicemails.
There wasn’t just 1 interviewer, it was a whole panel. It felt like a parole board
I’m Ryan Seacresting the HELL out of this interview. If they didn’t hire me as to co-op, I was sure they’d hire me to record voicemails.
There wasn’t just 1 interviewer, it was a whole panel. It felt like a parole board
4/8 No black faces. Just 3 or 4 white men and 1 WW asking questions.
They’re asking the usual stuff: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
Me: Working here
Them: What’s your best quality?
Me: Ingenuity. I solve problems by using innovative, outside-the box quick thinking
They’re asking the usual stuff: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
Me: Working here
Them: What’s your best quality?
Me: Ingenuity. I solve problems by using innovative, outside-the box quick thinking
5/8 I know, textbook answers. But then they threw a curveball. They asked a follow-up question.
Them: Tell us about a time when you used your ingenuity to solve problems
I panicked. What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t hesitate because I was supposed to be a “quick thinker.”
Them: Tell us about a time when you used your ingenuity to solve problems
I panicked. What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t hesitate because I was supposed to be a “quick thinker.”
6/8I swear this is true:
Y’all... I sat in that conference room in that freshly ironed suit with slack creases from Nazareth & told those white people about the time I made dressing gravy with the seasoning powder from a package of Chicken Top Ramen!
I went step by step, too!
Y’all... I sat in that conference room in that freshly ironed suit with slack creases from Nazareth & told those white people about the time I made dressing gravy with the seasoning powder from a package of Chicken Top Ramen!
I went step by step, too!
7/8 By the time I finished explaining the delicate thickening process, I’d never felt so niggerish in my life. They stared as if I was an entirely different species!
The room was silent for what seemed like long enough to cook a baked potato in the microwave. No one breathed!
The room was silent for what seemed like long enough to cook a baked potato in the microwave. No one breathed!
Then one guy, (the follow-up question guy) whispered as if his voice was made of prayer cloth lace:
“Ok... So what exactly is ‘dressing?’ ”
I didn’t get the job.
Anyway, I just remembered that, & wanted to tell y’all to stock up on Top Ramen for the Coronaviruspocalypse
✌🏾🙏🏿
“Ok... So what exactly is ‘dressing?’ ”
I didn’t get the job.
Anyway, I just remembered that, & wanted to tell y’all to stock up on Top Ramen for the Coronaviruspocalypse
✌🏾🙏🏿
