Thread by @tinyredbook

"I don't want any boring old heraldry. I want something new, fresh. Something that really describes me and my family, you know?"
Artist: "Don't worry. I've got just the thing"

"A leopard, but blindfolded"

Abbot #1: Gimme a queen, bishops hat, st mauritz and a bunch of swords, nice two colour background. That should do it.
Abbot #2: My dog.

can't believe someone has already used my coat of arms idea

p sure this wappenbuch is just trolling me now

"Just a classic, you know, lion with an axe and busty lizard lady with a crown and ducks feet"

TFW you're combining your arms but you don't like the other person

"just some nice normal snake heraldry, please"

when your nice and normal and classy, but your friends insist on doing their own coats of arms

just some normal animals + old school furry

"can you make the crowned ox cheeky, but over it at the same time?"

the worst thing about women is how they can't do anything for themselves because their arms are just giant fish
OR
TFW your arms have been eaten by giant golden fish but your makeup and cleavage is on point so you post the pic anyway

"a man bird hybrid, please"
"so like a man with wings?"
"nah, a corvid with a mans face taking up half the body, and a beard"

🙌👏🐻

That's it for today!

They are all from Konrad Grünenberg's Wappenbuch, which is digitised and can be found here:
daten.digitale-sammlungen.de/~db/0003/bsb00…

If you like my purile sense of humour you'll probably like my Timeless Advice Bot: @OldAnswers
It answers health questions from Yahoo Answers with extracts from a medieval medical text