I'm drinking, which makes this a *perfect* time to tweet - and on top of that - to try to *thread* my tweets. I'm bad at this. But I'm so enthused, so here's a story about me trying to use electric scooters in SF last weekend...
The bike share launched in SF nearly 5 years ago and 5 years later there are zero docks near where I live in the Richmond district. Within days of the launch of the dockless scooters, I noted scooters available *on my block*. Magic.
In part due to the very public backlash from the City, some folks feel justified in vandalizing the scooters. Let me tell you about last Sunday. I jogged around SF (about 5 mile loop in the end) trying to find an unvandalized scooter to try out — for FUN — because it’s FUN.
I’ve seen folks zipping around on scooters looking THRILLED and full of JOY and having a BLAST because turns out it’s joyous to zip around with the wind in your hair.
Oh back to trying to find a scooter. Right. It was late on Sunday and there was a low supply on the market. I noted a few in GG Park and headed that way, on foot. The first few I encountered were vandalized. Most had cables cut. So sad.
Keep jogging…then WHAM I found an absolute cache of scooters by Kezar. Turned out - and this was only kinda funny at the time - they were IMPOUNDED. What a shame. I wanted to confront the cops, but was distracted by a scooter that popped up nearby and didn’t want to miss it.
I arrived out of breath and excited. It was vandalized. So sad. The next three were also vandalized. I tried twice to ride vandalized scooters, I convinced myself I didn’t need the brake, but in the end I really did (need the brakes).
OK so now I’m in the panhandle and next NoPa. Finally found one that was not horribly vandalized, but it had low battery. Then I found one that was “in use—thought about stealing it—but that’s not cool and I didn’t want to get geolocated and beat up so I left it where I found it
Oh did I mention that I was doing all this with my bf and we did actually find a good Bird in the Haight and this whole time he’s zipping on a scooter and I’m jogging? He was wearing Doc Martens and I was wearing runners, so this was really a sensible arrangement.
In NoPa we ran into a couple *doing the exact same thing* (1 scooter, 2 people) — we met over the carcass of a scooter that was severed in half. Pretty sure that’s a crime. We commiserated about how hard it was to find a scooter. I think the scooter stress was ruining their date.
Ok so we decide after many defeats that the best thing to do was to take the one good Bird home and park it in front of my stoop and drink Scotch and Sauv Blanc and “Bird Watch” and see who comes to get it.
I mused that this is a good dating strategy (for you single folks out there) — bring Birds home and sit on your porch and offer drink to those who come by. Wait, only ride scooters sober. Okay so we take the Bird home and park it out front and start the Bird watch.
Within ten minutes someone arrives to take the Bird away. He puts our bird on his bird and is going to scoot off with it and I’m like, “Hey, how’s it going?” Turns out this guy has a "new job" which is to go around and collect low battery birds and charge them. We wish him luck.
There is so much scarcity that now every time I see a bird I’m like “bird watch!” to myself and take a picture and I kinda want to start an Instagram account with all the sightings of scooters in the Richmond district cuz honestly it’s thrilling.
But, maybe you've heard, the City is rationing the scooters and this is just mad because THERE ARE MORE DISCARDED MATTRESSES ON THE SIDEWALKS of the Richmond district than there are scooters and we don't even have bike share and dockless is the future. There.
