1/ This was, on reflection, a truly farcical escape attempt. Firstly, Javid's officials seemed stunned to see journalists. In the EU Parliament. They genuinely thought the Home Secretary could come to Brussels and we wouldn't find out about it, which is astonishing naivety.
2/ Then they hatched an ingenious plan. MEPs offices have 2 rooms - 1 for them and 1 for their assistant. They'd move us along the corridor and sneak Javid out of the assistant's door. But they moved us the wrong way so we were standing right outside that door when he left.
3/ There was only one thing for it - a mad dash for the lift. But when they got there too many of them got in and the doors wouldn't close. The doors kept reopening, allowing us to shout questions at the Home Sec who was cowering at the back. This happened at least 3 times.
4/ In a panic, his assistants mashed the buttons. But in their haste they pressed the wrong one, and instead of going down to the exit they went up to another floor with more offices on. They then had to come back down past us to get out as this was the only lift available.
5/ Eventually, the Home Secretary was free and off into the warm Brussels air having learnt a cursory lesson about the importance of having a solid exit plan. This is the ultimate moral of #liftgate. The End.
