Small talk as a minority person means performing acceptable majority culture expertise, which can be emotionally and cognitively exhausting.
The small talk I don't consider burdensome is generally that had within group because it is almost a somatic response
Also, the risk of forming instant, ephemeral intimacy across power dynamics is almost entirely borne by the person with the least power
Small talk as a member of most kind of minority groups means carefully managing the emotional state and expectations of someone who does not have expectation of doing the same for you
So yes people who dislike small talk may just be selfish goal-oriented assholes. Or talking to white people about kayaking so they don't clutch their purse or ask you to bring them a fork is fucking exhausting.
No one cares about your lowlights or the weather, maybe.
But if you want to small talk about Beyonce getting rushed in the A or how much Queen Shirley gonna kill that Aunt ReRe memorial then maybe
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