1/ A colleague has stopped talking to me because I didn't comment, 'haha cute child, great performance' on his daughter's dance video. I also accidentally let it slip that I hadn't even opened the video. I tried to apologize but he told me to go to hell.
2/ Now I'm afraid there's a special place in hell waiting just for me where I will be given a keyboard and an empty screen in which I'll have to type 'haha cute child, great performance' until the end of time...
3/ ... as hell monsters poke my flesh with hot irons and sulphuric acid drips on my lacerations.
On the judgement day when Satan Himself stands over me having ripped out my heart, growling in my face, 'SAY IT', I will murmur 'haha cute child, great performance'...
On the judgement day when Satan Himself stands over me having ripped out my heart, growling in my face, 'SAY IT', I will murmur 'haha cute child, great performance'...
4/ ... but as he turns away to deliver final punishments to a heaving sea of the screaming undead; as the dying embers of a once vibrant universe fall where they may; as God putters around dimming the lights like a cranky old barman shutting shop way past his bedtime...
5/ ... I will stand upright one last time. Like Galileo (but way cooler), I, with my last remaining sound will proclaim, 'HAHA... SHITTY CHILD... BORING VIDEO... IDGAF'.
Fin.
Fin.
@threadreaderapp unroll please
