Thread by @simplyceaser

1. Dear friends,
Today we'll take some time away from our daily lives to shit on...you'd never guess it... James Bond.

Here's the truth about James Bond - it's a cartoon series. With a cartoon hero, being a cartoon spy, taking cartoon risk and doing cartoon violence.

2. It's Tom and Jerry for adults with sub par IQs.

What you've been fed is a content free, plotless, kitschy special effects orgy pretending to be a spy thriller series.

If you like James Bond unironically, congratulations! You have worse taste than the Harry Potter people.

3. The only difference between the virtue signalling, cringe inducing, neoliberal pottermaniacs and James Bond fans is that Bond is the far right, psychopath nutjob's macho fantasy about killing/fucking everything in sight.

On top of that, Bond is literally the worst spy ever.

4. Only in a government job could you still not get fired after being that shitty at work.

5. The stories have literally NEVER made any sense to anybody who's got 2 brain cells to rub together and the "actors" portraying Bond could be having a paralytic attack the whole time that's how much acting the role requires.

6. The kind of noise you make about who the next Bond is going to be, can be replaced with a fart chorus for all the meaning it contains.

7. Honestly, you could close your eyes and pick literally anyone with a jawline and bland good looks - actor or non actor - and they'd be perfect for the role. Hell, pick Scarlet Johansen. Or a door frame.

8. Not just that, it's a garbage, money minting, meaningless mish mash of even more putrescently boring bunch of books much loved by weaboo equivalents of 1945.

In summary, fuck that guy.

@threadreaderapp unroll please