Profile picture
THE_EAGLE™🦅🇳🇬 @iamthe_eagle
, 89 tweets, 30 min read Read on Twitter

“Bayo, I’m pregnant. What are we going to do about it?” Uduak asked
There was an awkward silence.
He looked down at his manhood. “ Shey you see wetin you don cause. Konji na bastard.” He thought to himself.

Brethren Issa thread.
#feeltheeagle #terrifictuesday
Bayo had just been transferred to Calabar to manage a new branch of his firm. Despite the promotion he felt lonely and sad. Distance had separated him from Bolanle - the love of his life:
He rented a 2 bedroom apartment at the heart of Calabar. Marian to be precise.
He loved everything about the City. It was cool, calm, Clean and green unlike the Lagos hustling and bustling of people.
On this faithful weekend, He sat at home watching Chelsea vs Arsenal. The voltage got remarkably high. Before he could say Jack Robinson the transformer blew. People trooped out cursing and swearing. They knew it would take forever to fix.
Since the match was too important to miss, he quickly turned on his generator. Minutes later, he heard a knock on his door. It was Uduak the landlord’s daughter.
“Good afternoon Sir, Please I want to charge my phone.”
As Bayo collected the phone in a haste to continue his match she stopped him.
“Sir, you may have difficulty charging it. Let me come in and do it myself.”
Bayo obliged.
As she bent down to charge it. Bayo’s Concentration drifted from the match to her massive well-rounded backside in her tank top. He struggled to maintain focus.
“Sir, I’m having problems with your socket can you assist me?”
As he approached her she flaunted her ass in his direction. He was startled.
He pretended not to get the message and helped her fix the charger.
“I’ll come back later in the evening to collect it.” She said giving him a wink.
As she left, Bayo was startled. He tried to decipher what had just happened. Flashes of her well-rounded backside clouded his mind. “No! I must resist this temptation. Bolanle doesn’t deserve this.” He thought to himself.
His thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. It was Bolanle. Speak of the devil.

“Hello dear. I’m missing you badly!” He said.
“Hmmm. Somebody is horny.” Bolanle replied
“Hahhahaha. How did you know?”
“Whenever you use the term ‘I miss you badly’ it has only one meaning.”
“You got me.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll visit you in 3 months.”
“3 months? That’s far na.” Bayo exclaimed.
“You know how my job is. My leave is in 3 months. Just be patient.” She said.
“I’ll try.” He sighed.
"Try ke! hope you’re not seeing any calabar girl O!"
“Me, Calabar girl, God forbid! I don’t even like their language.”
“I trust you. And secondly, don’t eat their food. They will use kopnomi on you.”
“Fear not! I will stay away from them.” Bayo assured.

“Check your whatsapp. I have sent fresh pictures to keep u glued anytime you miss me.”
Suddenly heavy rain began to fall. He rushed outside to cover his generator with a roofing sheet when he saw Uduak completely drenched, shivering in front of his balcony. Uduak was on a wrapper tied to her chest.
“Sir, I have been knocking. I guess the sound of the generator prevented you from hearing.”

“I’m so sorry. I was on a phone call. Come in.”
As she stepped in what he saw blew his mind.
The wetness of the wrapper clung to her body revealing her coke bottle figure.

Her watermelon boobs were hard to ignore as her firm nipples busted through the wrapper.
What went through his mind.
“Damn you Delilah!” He thought to himself in Adekunle Gold’s voice.
As she bent to unplugged her phone, the curvature of her ass threw him off balance.
It was obvious she wasn’t putting anything beneath the wrapper as her butt line clearly showed.
He looked down at his penis. What he saw.
He could clearly hear his conscience beg him to resist the temptation.
2 things crossed his mind. If you were in his shoes what would you do?
While he battled with the temptation that confronted him, She called him.
“Sir, The charger is stiff. Please help me pull it out.”

As he approached her, she jumped on him. “Sir, The charger just shocked me.”

Damn! The softness of her body was like fresh Agege bread.
“You don’t touch electricity with wet hands.” He struggled to say.

As he released himself from her grip, her wrapper fell off.

Boom! His eyes pulled out of its socket seeing a wonderfully shaped body carved by the goddess of Priapus.

She was stark naked.
The only thing on her was a waist bead.
The Waist beads turned him on the more. He knew the battle was lost as his penis gave him a sign to proceed.
As she gently pulled the wrapper up, Bayo dragged her closer.
She didn’t resist.
As he was about kissing her he was interrupted by a knock on his door.

“Uduak! Daddy is looking for you.” Said junior who was about 8 years old.

Uduak unplugged her phone and left. Bayo had a mixed feeling of guilt and disappointment.
You guys are harsh o! 20 votes and only 5 retweets.

Guys dont be stingy, Let your followers enjoy Biko!!!

Lets continue.
The next day at work he couldn’t concentrate. All he could imagine was Uduak’s Nakedness. He entered whatsApp and scrolled through Bolanle’s nudes to divert his attention but it was nothing compared to what he saw last night. Infact, It was a major turnoff.
As he drove into the compound, Uduak welcomed him.
“Sir, I’m sorry for yesterday.”
“Oh, that? Its ok” Bayo assured.
“Hope you weren’t offended?”
His reply.
“Sir, I have something for you. Just wait here.”
Minutes later she arrived with a food flask.
“Thank you.” He said as he watched her leave.

He got in and opened the flask.
Suddenly, The aroma of home made Afang soup hit him.
He was really hungry. Without much thought he turned on the water heater to make Eba and grabbed a spoon to taste the soup when he remembered Bolanle’s advice. The fear of kopnomi stopped him
Reluctantly, he thought of putting the food in the dustbin, when he heard a knock on the door. “Sir, I just prepared eba for you. I felt you might be too tired to cook anything.” Uduak said.

As Bayo collected the plate, she walked inside.
“Taste the soup. I want you to rate my cooking.” She said.
Bayo was reluctant to eat.
“Don’t be scared. I didn’t poison it.” She assured.
She grabbed a morsel of eba, placed it in the soup and ate.
“You see? Oya join me.” she beckoned.
Reluctantly, he placed the food in his mouth.

Uduak’s reaction.
Boom! The most delicious thing he had ever tasted was in his mouth.
Instantly, he lost his home training as he rushed the food. He yearned for more. She rushed home and brought more. He had never tasted anything as delicious as that.
He realized why ladies from other tribes dreaded calabar women’s cooking.

They were scared one taste of a Calabar woman’s soup would make their men leave them.

“Ewedu and gbegiri should be relegated.” he exclaimed.
“You just tasted Afang soup and you’re screaming. What would you do if you taste Edikang Ikong soup.”

“Edikan whatever you call it, Please cook it for me tomorrow.” Bayo begged.
“Sure.” She grinned.
The Next day. Bayo rushed home in anticipation of Edikang Ikong soup. He was glad to see Uduak seated at this Balcony with a bigger food flask.
Without taking off his clothes, he pounced on the food. Uduak watched in awe as he devoured it. “Uduak you are a great cook.”
“Thank you Sir.”
“Enough of the Sir…. Call me Bayo.”
“Ok Bayo. I bought a Film in the market. I’ll like us to watch it together.”
“What’s the title?”
“50 shades of grey.” She grinned.
Bayo had watched it previously with Bolanle and he knew what followed midway into the movie.
“Have you watched it before?” She asked.
“No.” he denied.

Uduak’s reaction.👇
Watching the movie with her was like putting yam in front of a goat. Something must happen.
The movie started. Half way into the movie their eyes met.
“Bayo, These people are learners.”
Why do you think so?
“Let me prove it to you.” She boasted.
As he tried to process the shock of what he just heard. Uduak drew closer and grabbed his D**k.
She fulfilled every sexual threat she made.
One thing led to another. Before anyone could successfully fix a thread in the hole of a needle, Samankwe was in session.
What startled bayo was her sexual prowess.

Prior to this he had heard a lot about the sexual prowess of Calabar girls. But this one was on the extreme. Her energy was natural. Her skills were inbuilt. Upgraded to the latest Operating system and free from every form of malware.
Her hips glided like a greased wheel. Unlike bolanle with her stiff waist who just laid like a corpse making repeated sounds of ummm and ahh.

She took him in skills he had never imagined. He felt good beyond imagination.
You know how Isaac felt when he ate Jacob’s porridge and rendered all the blessings with nothing left for Esau. That was a tip of how he felt.

In no time he let the juice out.
It was at that moment he realised the true meaning of the CALABAR acronym.
Come And Live And Be At Rest - C.A.L.A.B.A.R
“Good night Bayo. See you tomorrow.” She said.
Bayo was shocked seeing her leave like nothing had happened.
Unlike Bolanle who passed out on bed after intercourse.

In ecstasy of what he had enjoyed, he slept like a baby.
As weeks passed Bayo enjoyed both Uduak’s delicacies and the activities in the other room.
How she welcomed him whenever he returned from work.
Bayo's Communication with Bolanle became strained.
On this faithful day. He returned from work to see Uduak looking moody.

“What is it?”
“Bayo, I’m pregnant. What are we going to do about it?” Uduak asked.
There was an awkward silence.
He looked down at his manhood. “Shey you see wetin you don cause? Konji na bastard.” He thought to himself.

“I don’t know. How many weeks?” He asked.
“3 weeks. And I’m not ready to terminate it o!” She said.
His reaction.👇
The next day at the office he put on his thinking cap. He couldn’t concentrate.
He thought of ways to deny the pregnancy.
He called His best friend Tunde. A serial Yoruba demon for advice.

“Guy, Wahala dey.”
“What happened.”
“One Calabar babe don carry belle for me.”
“But you’re a master of pull out na?”
“I swear, This one weak me. What should I do?” Bayo asked.
“First thing we’ll do is to be sure it is yours.”
“I can swear it is mine. I can’t count how many times I logged in.”
“Ogbeni calm down. Women are unpredictable. Do you know how many hours Eve ate the apple of knowledge before Adam tasted it. Besides I’ve heard stories of women faking pregnancy to extort money from men. We still need to check it.” Tunde asserted.
“How do we go about it, without her knowing?”
“Its simple. Here’s what we will do.” Tunde explained everything to him.
Bayo arrived home.
Uduak I’m ready to accept the pregnancy. We need to register with my company’s hospital.”

“Sure.” She grinned.
They arrived at the Clinic.
“We will take samples of your blood & urine, we will also do a scan to ensure both mum and child are in perfect condition.” Said the nurse.
Uduak grinned.
Bayo gave her a peck on her forehead as she left with the nurse.
“I love you dear.” He grinned.
Minutes later, Uduak returned.
As they sat patiently, the doctor approached them with a test result.
Bayo checked the result.

Everyone say Behold!
She was indeed pregnant. Bayo’s heart raced fast.
As he dropped the result in disappointment, he decided to have a second look at the result.

The test result showed she was 10 weeks pregnant.
“But Ive been in Calabar for less than 2 months.” Bayo exclaimed.
“What are you talking about. I thought we came here to register the baby?” Uduak asked.

“Unfortunately, it's a pregnancy test.” He said wryly.
“Pregnancy Test? Bayo don’t you trust me?” Uduak asserted.
“I agree you’re pregnant. But that child is not mine.” Bayo thundered as he flung the result at her.
She was rooted to the spot as she looked at it.

“Bayo, It’s not fair. After f***king me 6 ways from Sunday.” She said as tears streamed down her eyes.
How he looked at her crocodile tears.
“No. you’re the one being unfair. You knew you were pregnant before throwing advances at me. That’s how I would have fathered another man’s child.”
“Bayo, I’m sorry. Please hear me out.”
“I’m not ready to hear your bullshit story.” He said and left angrily.
At the Car park he knelt down and Thanked God for the narrow escape.
As he drove home, he reflected on how everything began.
He realised she orchestrated everything from the beginning.
“Chai! I’ll miss her Afang, Edikang-ikong, Ekpang Nkukwo
and mind-blowing knacks.” He sighed.
***The End***

I'm sure you enjoyed this thread. Please follow everyone who retweets this thread. I'll also follow back.
Check my pinned tweet below 👇 for other hilarious threads or go to

Mitchelle @chellez_101, has a business called Chellez beads, you can check out the flier along her timeline on twitter and instagram (@chellez_beads.)

Please do well to patronise her.
For N2,000 only, you can own this "japaa" T-SHIRT. Visit @lastpriceng_ to check out other amazing designs and place an order.
Contact @ObazeMark
For my Ghanian Tweeps. 🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭
My baby sis just opened a Hair line. kindly patronise her.

Address:34 NiI Okaiman Main West Road,New Achimota Petroleum Accra Ghana.
Phone No:+233261648181,+233549265954
I do my best to promote young talents, and entrepreneurs. I know things are quite tough for the hardworking youths out there.
send a DM. Its free.
I'm off to prepare the next story.

See you next Tuesday.

Keep soaring.🦅
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to THE_EAGLE™🦅🇳🇬
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!