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maura quint @behindyourback
, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
idk how to twitter lately and it's Sunday and maybe you just want to lie in bed with your phone, so here are 4 threads if you feel like reading til you fall back asleep (2 serious, 2 funny)
The replies under this are really interesting
jokes! here are jokes!
we are serious people who wake up and read economic reports and here's important info about the ridiculous terrible GOP tax bill
this thread on bad dates made me laugh and cringe harder than anything else on Twitter ever
and one extra, for anyone who doesn't want to read words but still wants to get lost online this morning
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More from @behindyourback see all

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This past year I started having to drive 7-14hrs every work and I also learned how to listen to podcasts so I can now say, I really like:
@thedollop
@CHAPOTRAPHOUSE
@BillCorbett's Funhouse billcorbettsfunhouse.libsyn.com
@johnlevenstein's Retirement Party itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/joh…

and
most of all (ok yes also it's the only one I've been invited to be a guest on)
@WGladstone's Intangible Quarter patreon.com/wgladstone
@WGladstone Also just realized @wgladstone listened to all 5 of these first and told me I'd like them and should listen to them and made fun of me until I learned how to download podcasts.
Read 3 tweets
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Future Presidents should be allowed to rule in totality without any oversight, as the Constitution intended!
If they'd lived during the Revolutionary War, every single modern-day Republican would have fought on the side of the British.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The tweet above is an exaggerated joke to underline the point made in the sarcastic quote RT it is linked to. It is not, in fact, a thesis statement nor doctoral candidate paper and therefore, does not need to be evaluated nor argued as such. You absolute losers]
Read 3 tweets
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just ordered take out instead of eating leftovers again and have killed my mother she is dead now it's very tragic but then also this chicken parm is very good
"You ordered food?!! But there are so many leftovers!!! It will go to waste!!" -mom, aghast at the idea we aren't all making a meal of 6 brussel sprouts, the worst bits of a turkey carcass and ok yes a giant bag (?) of stuffing
I regret to inform you I have eaten too much take out
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

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Here's a thread about the books I read this year!

#reading #books #libraries #readingrainbow
1. "Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House" by Michael Wolff. Yes, I hate-read this book in a matter of days. Problematically, Bannon comes across as an articulate, insightful source and not an arch nationalist parasite. Will Wolff's depiction be hagiography in the future?
2. "The Invention of the White Race, Volume 1: Racial Oppression and Social Control" and "The Invention of the White Race, Volume 2: The Origin of Racial Oppression in Anglo-America" by Theodore Allen. Who knew how important Bacon's Rebellion (1676) was to the history of racism?
Read 27 tweets
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yoonmin au

jimin's had a long day at work and now all he wants to do is come home and cuddle with his boyfriend. his boyfriend's certainly not complaining.
threadfic below ✨✨

for the birthday girl @fairydiminie 💗
Jimin was shivering as he walked home, jacket pulled tightly around him to keep in as much warmth as he could. His nose and fingertips were red from the cold and the wind tousled his hair as he walked down the sidewalk along the busy street that lead to his apartment.
Read 56 tweets
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So let me tell you all about the longest and strangest flight I have ever had on SAA. It was a flight from East London to Johannesburg.

So I'm sitting in my seat during boarding when lo sisi first arrives. She was visibly and audibly drunk walking to the seat right next to me
Sisi ( in her 40s as far as I can tell) sits next to me, smelling like a tavern and shouts to a guy a few seats ahead of me "thank you babes, thanks for holding my bag ma darling". Kicks off her shoes. Takes off her jacket. Pops her phone into her bra, the top part sticking out
At this stage I suspect the next hour and a half will be tough, confirmed by the ground attendant who checked us in coming to lo sisi and asking her if she is drunk and begging her to behave on the flight because she is a security risk. Sisi swears that she's not THAT drunk.
Read 17 tweets
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#Twitter: what is it good for? How do you get good at it? And what will we do when it's gone? Today in pulp I share a few insights I've gleaned from almost five years of running this account.

Its about to get all meta...
Most people's tweets are a stream of consciousness, and Twitter itself is a daily flow of 500 million of these across the surface of your phone. You are currently looking at the collective unconscious of the planet...
And like any examination of the unconscious you will see things on Twitter that fascinate you and things that disgust you. This is part of its attraction: the filters of discourse become permeable, allowing the unsayable to leak across.
Read 19 tweets
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I didn’t have proof he did any of this masturbation stuff. Only rumors. He verbally did some sick stuff to me. I got harassed so bad for speaking on it with no one in my community to back me up I stopped. He apologized. And lied to me about the others. This is the mess of it all.
2. So don’t you dare put me on trial for my clumsy handling of my own harassment and having no idea what to do about it, how to handle that speaking out got me nothing but rape threats, and then me questioning if what happened to me was even that bad. THAT is literally
3. The trajectory women face. I didn’t even realize what I fucking thought of it until I had a lifetime in comedy to process so many aspects of it not just him but the entire system of how women are treated offstage by their peers.
Read 35 tweets
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A Jikook au where Jimin finds Jungkook on the side of the road in the pouring rain and takes him in only to discover that he’s a hybrid, which unleashes a whole new set of problems—including the reason for Jungkook’s distrust.
Jimin honestly isn’t having the best day he’s ever had. First of all, the kids at the dance studio he runs with Hoseok were completely out of control today for no reason. One of the parents yelled at him for their kid’s refusal to cooperate during dance lessons, as if Jimin
was the one who raised them. Then, when he went to get ice cream from his freezer after a long day at work—his go-to comfort food—he realized he was completely out. Sighing, yet determined to have at least something nice today, he grabs his wallet and leaves the house.
Read 175 tweets

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