Hope you’ve really enjoyed you Monday so far, because I’m about fuck up your entire day with the most ill advised and flat-out terrifying real estate listing on the internet! 
Ok, you want to be festive. That’s cute.
Aaaaaaaaand, you went too far. Is he staying for dinner? Does he just want to watch? Are me and my family HIS dinner? WE KNOW SHOCKINGLY ABOUT WHAT GRINCHES EAT.
It’s like a dog staring at you waiting for you to drop something, but like a billion times worse.
Now we’re off to the downstairs half bathroom and OMFG NO NO NO NO NO.
Try the bathroom upstairs and oh fuck no this guy is not watching me poop.
WHY IS HE USING EVERY TOILET IN THIS HOUSE. Is he marking his territory? Is he coming with the house?
Now into the bedroom and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
AND NO YOU CAN’T WATCH EITHER.
He seems to live under the bed in that room, so we’ll just head on to the bedroom down the hall where it’s SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER NOWHERE IS SAFE.
That’s right he’s trying on all your shit. Buy this house and know that there’s been Grinch wang rubbed inside ALL of your pants.
YEAH IT DON’T MATTER IF YOU WASH THEM BUDDY I KNOW YOU RUBBED YOUR WANG ON MY PANTS.
Think taking a long, hot shower will make you feel better OH FUCK NO YOU WON’T HE POOPED IN THE SHOWER TOO.
And he’s in your basement gym getting jacked so you can’t fight back! This house comes with a new water heater, central air, AND PLENTY OF GRINCH RAPE.
And then when you’re out, he’s pawning all your shit for crack, which gives him the energy he need for all that raping.
FOR $374,900. YOU CAN LIVE IN A SUPERNATURAL RAPE HOUSE FOR $374,900.
Needless to say, we will not be viewing nor buying this house.
One time I saw a real estate listing where there was a blatant 6-foot wide bloodstain in the hardwood floors, and it was less creepy than this house.
And that is CRAZY expensive for the area.
