, 8 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Here she is: the sole survivor from the original cricket box. She will not be fed to the lizard and instead will retire to a sterilite box, to live the remainder of her days in opulence and luxury. What shall we name her?
Alright time to vote. You’ve got one hour!
(everybody who replied with “Crickey McCricketface” is getting reported)
Welllll folks we've got a bit of a complication here. Apparently I should have told my wife about my Cricket Hunger Games scheme *before* I announced it on twitter. She had to be physically restrained from dumping the cricket straight into the lizard cage
It got ugly. I told her that if anything happened to that cricket, she'd find the roaches in the bed. Oddly enough this did not de-escalate things
The thing about Briana is she *really* likes the Hunger Games. And she has made clear that naming the cricket after Katniss would represent a violation of our marriage vows. So in the interest of marital harmony I am awarding the name to the second-place entry, Ripley
Which I think is fine in the end? Because we all know that Ripley could kick Katniss' ass anyway
Pleased to report that Ripley the Cricket is doing quite well, lots of energy. Extremely difficult to catch relative to your median cricket, which explains why she's the sole survivor. Today she's feasting on fresh kale and baby carrots.
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