Thread by @jarrodmckenna

It is a week since the terrorist attack in New Zealand. It’s also a week since my friend who had being doing so well in recovery, and in a masters program in university, was found dead in my aunt’s house.

It can be very hard to grieve well. Be gentle, with yourself, and others.

On that, I’m aware that I have been, (hopefully uncharacteristically), angry in twitter.

There is a place for anger yet, for me at least, it’s in no way helpful to be online.

I’m aware I responded to quickly to @mbird12, and there may be others.

I ask your forgiveness.

I’m just going to share a few thinks I need to hear often after 15 years of seeking to love (with my complicated self) and live with hurting people struggling addictions, C-PTSD, post-prison, homelessness or seeking safety in a new country after surviving war.

I’m aware that it’s not a huge demographic who able to identify with living in intentional communities that serve the hurting and the complexities that comes with that. Yet many of us know the pain of seeking to love, others or parts of ourselves that are deeply in pain.

So, a reminder:

Our calling is just to love.

That’s it.

Transformation is not our job.

Love is.

Love may provide the soil from which transformation can grow.

Both personal and social transformation.

But our job is to love.

Transformation is a miracle that really is none of our business.

When people overdose, when people head back to jail, when people go back to that abusive relationship, when the public option turns against the policies you were working for, when everything you built to witness to a better world burns to the ground,

you haven’t failed.

Failing is failing to witness to love.

That doesn’t mean you don’t long for, ache for, seek first, and pray for transformation. You do. Do so with everything you got.

Yet know love is what is required of us.

Transformation is the miracle that surprises us as we love.

We must completely let go of all the “results”.
We must renounce all the formulas, prescriptions and instructions that promise results.

We don’t love to see change.
We change, ourselves —not as heroes, or saviours— but broken people seeking healing so we open to love, & love.

I know how the heroic stories get told at conferences, where transformation is the final scene before credits roll (or the altar call).

But if you are going to love for the long haul -and keep your heart radically open- you must choose love regardless of seeing the end scene.

Again, I’m not sure if I’m speaking a word to anyone but myself. But at anytime feel free to remind me,
“Jarrod, your call is to love. That’s it. Transformation is what we seek but can never force. Keep your heart soft, lean not your own understanding for God’s mercy is higher.”

So for all those who have risked it all
on loving your complicated neighbour
with your complicated self,
and the results have been complicated, keep loving.

No love is lost in the universe.
No love was a waste of time.
No love returns empty.

The back of the tapestry is always, always, a mess.

In the mess discover the threads to be loving kindness.

Forget perfection,
just hold back love
from nothing.

Love with a love that’s only yours as you let it flow to others.

That’s all I got.

And that enough.
Love’s grace is sufficient for me,
it’s made perfect in my weakness.