Profile picture
, 11 tweets, 4 min read
Wow the quality of Tinder messages have 📈☝️💯 when I added the following to my bio:

- message me your interests and intentions
- skip the small talk that both you and I detest!

It's lovely to get people's heartfelt life stories/goals upfront instead of "heyyyy". 🤩
Perhaps you will hate me for saying this but Tinder is a sales funnel.

Swiping = Lead gen
Starting a convo = You/they pitch
Response and/or questions = You both qualify
Plan to meet in person = You/they close

All I did was help ppl pitch with confidence which helps me qualify.
Lmao ya'll like my unsolicited dating advice. 😂

IMO, when people use a dating app like they use a texting app, it only perpetuates loneliness. I unmatch people who are ok with wasting their time and mine.

For others, I'll ask: "What's one date you've always wanted to go on?"
Update: I switched from suburbs to big city where people are more transient in their msgs. Most ignored my request and I got tired of unmatching. So I made it extra explicit! 😂 Now the inbox is back to more stories than noise.

Note to self: have a 🤖 to unmatch by # of words
I have men saying that they want to try this in their bio. I'm not sure if it'll work the other way around but I'm curious!

I've helped male roommates get dates on Tinder before. imo coming up things to say is nerve wracking! So when people are collaborating, I always respond.
Okay! I've gone on several fun dates 🧗‍♀️🎤👨🏻‍🍳🏍️📸 Here's what I'm noticing:

➕ This process self-selects avid communicators 🤗
➖ Relies on both parties being ok to build rapport in-person vs. text
➖ Prioritizes mutual interests & intentions, 🎲 for compatiblilty!

con't...
➕ Filters out people with expectations that create unnecessary pressure, bc they wouldn't be ok with my profile. Not here for dates that feel like interviews! 😂😨

➕ Get to enjoy tinder not for swiping (thanks to addictive tech & dark patterns) but for people to meet

con't...
➕➖ Ya'll don't get a coffee date to "see if there's chemistry" 🙄. Most coffee dates are uninspiring, more noise than signal. In my last Tinder experiment, I demonstrated how collaborative, challenging activities brought about self-expression. 🎉👯‍♀️

hackernoon.com/swipe-right-to…
Wholesome Tinder achievement: Having 2 of my dates ask to join me in writing up an Integrity Report (notion.so/Integrity-Repo…) out of their own will! I just mentioned what I'm up to. Props🤜🏼 to dudes seeing value in self-reflection. 😌
A little over 2mo since I started. Besides great convos with men outside my bubble:

- Picked up bouldering from a climber
- Progressed from 5k to 8k+ thanks to pacing with a runner
- Learned salsa moves w/ a dancer
- Next is paddleboard w/ a surfer

So much positive energy 😊
I've been told after guys met me IRL that they thought I was either an elaborate bot (🤭) or extremely straightforward. Scary how the default is passive, lukewarm texting.

For me, it's a 'fuck yes, or no': Commit to having the best time together, or save each other's time. 👋👋
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with Hannah

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @herlifeinpixels see all

Profile picture
Hannah
@herlifeinpixels
I believe energy/time mgmt is one of those skills that need tune-ups as priorities & health conditions change. I think of it as updating the 🧠's software. 🤓

This month I'm working with a coach to refine mine! I'll share learnings & resources along the way.

A [thread]
Past iterations!

1. Muay Thai training with biphasic sleep:


2. [2018] Planning around seasonal depression:

3. [2017] Burnout recovery. Deep work vs. reactive work separation:
This time, I want to dig into the following:

⚡ How can I schedule my days better around energy level fluctuations (from stress, training, environment, hormonal cycle)
😬 Am I doing unnecessary tasks or doing them at the wrong time in my schedule
🔋 Recovering smarter
Read 24 tweets
Profile picture
Hannah
@herlifeinpixels
Books that gave me different perspectives on empathy and introduced best practices:

- Empathy in leadership:
Dare to Lead

- Empathy with customers:
Practical Empathy

- Empathy in negotiation:
Never Split The Difference

- Empathy in relationships:
Nonviolent Communication
I'm sharing this because I find that in our industry people tend to use the word to imply to something binary, ie. you/your product either has empathy or don't.

We can all benefit from seeing empathy as a set of learnable skills.
There's also a stigma that if you are reading a book on people skills you must be socially inept - it's all supposed to be intuitive, right?

One thing that surprised me as I learned these concepts is that so many of us have been communicating ineffectively, but are unaware.
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
Hannah
@herlifeinpixels
One of my mentors, a long time lawyer and prof in China, once shared with me a positioning/negotiation tactic, which I thought is clever and hilarious.

Here's an example he acted out while in the car, in response to someone asking for his speaker rates:
My mentor, Mr. Li:

"Mr. Huang, I'm honoured that you would consider me to speak at your school" *pauses, looks concerned, lowers voice* "I just worry, I'm not sure if what I charge would be tough on your budget."
*Mr. Huang looks a little flustered but reassures that they value his presence at the school. He asks for his price*

Mr. Li: "I have to thank [department] for being so accommodating! For our continued relationship, I will only charge [a rate he sees fit] this time".
Read 6 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
⚫ Pete Wharmby
@commaficionado
Let's imagine you hate a few things. Like really don't like them. Can't do them. Can't stand them at a fundamental level. Let's imagine, for sake of argument, you hate:
🔹Broccoli
🔹Dancing
🔹Horror movies. /1

#autistic #AllAutistics
You've tried, good lord how you've tried. But you can't do these things. You'd rather not go near these things. And everyone, pretty much, is fine with this. They say "that's OK, no worries!" /2

#autistic #AllAutistics
Imagine now, please, that someone you trusted insisted you ate broccoli. Over and over. Despite your protestations. They forced you to eat it. If you spit it out you get punishment. /3 #autism #AllAutistics
Read 12 tweets
Profile picture
RyuZoku
@Ryu_Zoku
There are many forms of computing hardware systems, ever more so these days with TPU (Tensor Processing Units), GPUs, Multi-Core CPUs, Parallela Epiphany cores, FPGAs, Risc-V ISA, Analog Computing, Quantum Bits, Memristors, AI, ML, Deep Neural Nets, ...

thocp.net/biographies/pa…
The linked paper above is one older perspective. It was written just as the age of networking was beginning and published two years before the advent of Smalltalk-80 that brought in a new paradigm of Object Oriented Programming were objects communicate via passing of messages.
Functional Programming makes rather massive claims that it is somehow fundamentally different than the procedural programming that came before it. Both are based upon functions calling other functions with the passing of arguments as in Lambda Calculus mathematics. 🤔 Not new.
Read 44 tweets
Profile picture
Quinn Cummings
@quinncy
A small story:

Consort and I met, fell in love, started dating, got pregnant and then, at the start of my second trimester, moved in together.

As with so many things in my life, stop looking so worried, I know where I'm going.
What this means is that in many ways, Consort and I have always been three people. The first day we spent looking for the first furniture we would ever have which would be "Our" furniture, we were deep in the San Fernando Valley when I suddenly said quietly, "We must eat."
"Yeah, we should," Consort said absently, thinking when I said "We" I meant Consort and Quinn, and continued to talk about side tables.

I did not mean Consort and Quinn, I meant Fetus and Quinn.
Read 29 tweets
Profile picture
G 💫
@moonchildtaeguk
Okay but a Taekook au where Jungkook’s girlfriend starts to flirt with Taehyung and Taehyung dodges her every time until he finally snaps and tells her he’d much rather fuck her boyfriend than fuck her.
I really didn’t think a random idea would get this many likes but what you want is what you’ll get
I’ll start this tomorrow or possibly tonight 🧡
Read 147 tweets
Profile picture
The Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom
@tressiemcphd
Small talk as a minority person means performing acceptable majority culture expertise, which can be emotionally and cognitively exhausting.
The small talk I don't consider burdensome is generally that had within group because it is almost a somatic response
Also, the risk of forming instant, ephemeral intimacy across power dynamics is almost entirely borne by the person with the least power
Small talk as a member of most kind of minority groups means carefully managing the emotional state and expectations of someone who does not have expectation of doing the same for you
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
THE Princess 👑🌌
@TheSWPrincess
I've been part of the Twitter resistance for a year now. I'm going to share some thoughts about why & how I resist.

Some people may not like some things I say here. I’m sorry for that, but they need to be said. 1 #WhyIResist #HowIResist #RebelScum #TheResistance
Some things in the first year were fun: meeting like-minded people, the #scifi characters, learning how to take effective action. Celebrating #victories like beating the #ACA repeal bills.

A lot of it wasn't fun - the threats of nuclear war, the daily stress of bad news. 2
Follow parties were fun, and a good way to promote a message and raise awareness, connect with other resistors and grow our followings. They had themes and served a purpose and there was about about one a month.  3 #PartyWithAPurpose #trending #amplify #effective
Read 20 tweets

Trending hashtags

#hillaryemail #horreur #PPS #VoterFraud #hillarysemail #tinder #ACA #day1 #amplify #Höcke #langouet #coopératives #TweetTheMuellerReport #bio #wrecked #goals #CTE #related #nohillary2016 #UPDATE #ElectionDay #anciens #original #HöfumHátt #gop
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!