Thread by @QuinnyPig

At the #AWSSummit keynote once again. I feel like I've played this song before, but here we go. Good morning, Atlanta!

Paul Soligon takes the stage! Mentions 5500 attendees. Mentions @Equifax, @ChickfilA, and other wonderful companies that nobody could possibly object to. #AWSSummit

It wouldn't be an #awssummit if it didn't have a slide with a truly sarcastic number of customer logos.

And the public sector slide. #AWSSummit

Mentions @Slalom, @Accenture, and other Deloitteful partners. #AWSSummit

Shout-out to the community. Yay! We are indeed wonderful.

This is the first time I've seen them explicitly call out Diversity and Inclusion on a keynote stage. More of this please, @awscloud! #AWSSummit

"@sandy_carter is (insert a bunch of accolades that fail to capture the breadth and depth of how wonderful she is), welcome to the stage!" #AWSSummit

She opened with a joke that landed well. Once people thought through the punchline. "He who laughs last thinks slowest" after all... #AWSSummit

"Feel free to tweet at me" says @sandy_carter, who's apparently got way more patience for internet randos today than I do. #AWSSummit

"Programming is the closest I'll ever come to learning magic." @sandy_carter said this at a previous summit and I'm still gobsmacked by that one. She's right. #AWSSummit

"There are a number of migration strategies" says @sandy_carter, highlighting a bunch that don't work. #AWSSummit

She calls out @CapitalOne as an example of an enterprise that gets it right. Spot on; they're freaking incredible. (cc @bernardgolden @jayzalowitz) #AWSSummit

Migration strategies. I saw a LowFlyingHawk migrate into a window once. #AWSSummit

That's right! There's a License Manager service that was announced at re:Invent. I'd forgotten that one because I don't generally use software that plays with that model, and it's not an expensive service so I don't see it in the @awscloud bills... #AWSSummit

"It lets you track and reInforce" says @sandy_carter, going all-in on subliminal marketing. See you in Boston! #AWSSummit

Talks about how @awscloud's Active Directory is the only offering in the AD space that doesn't suck. Also correct, and befuddling to me. #AWSSummit

Talks about VMware on AWS. See a technical debt payday lender for details. #AWSSummit

And now a customer story. Do they think I'll spare Change? #AWSSummit

And that's as far as I go towards mocking a healthcare company. What they do is freaking important. This is what technology looks like. It's not a startup in SF, it's an insurance company. It's a hospital. It's a bank in Duluth. #AWSSummit

"Fail fast and kill people" isn't an option, so if you're looking at healthcare as a slow moving dinosaur, first IT IS NOT and second they kinda need to be. #AWSSummit

"It's not easy to get in front of 6,000 people" says @sandy_carter, demonstrating a flair for understatement. She's right; it's speaking on a whole other level. #AWSSummit

Now @sandy_carter is talking about the instances, containers, Lambda continuum. To be clear: the only right choice is what works for your company. Don't let the "Thought Leaders" tell you otherwise. #AWSSummit

"I've eaten McDonalds in 84 countries" confesses @sandy_carter. #AWSSummit

"Let's talk about Kubernetes" says @sandy_carter, and then emphasizes the 's' at the end of "on premises." I feel seen. #AWSSummit

The obligatory whack at Oracle, which I get, and Microsoft, which I do not.

I was right there for "Microsoft is a giant asshole" in the 90s; it took a lot to change my mind. Calling them out in 2019 just feels... dated. #AWSSummit

"Let's talk for a minute about Blockchain" says @sandy_carter. Lies. Nobody can talk about it for less than an hour without stopping. #AWSSummit

We've now pivoted to machine learning and its related snake oil. I'm sorry-- "serpent grease." #AWSSummit

Now @sandy_carter is talking about S3, with a bunch of handwaving so she doesn't have to admit what we know: S3 is freaking magic. #AWSSummit

"85% of Tensorflow workloads run on @awscloud" says @sandy_carter, conveniently omitting that most of those are a stupid project I spun up last year and forgot to turn off. #AWSSummit

"Now let's talk about Alexa, which--" "A WITCH IS A PERSON, GENERALLY A WOMAN, WHO..."

@sandy_carter sets off every Echo in the building. #AWSSummit

"Let's talk about Inferentia" which needs a cure. Age comes for us all. #AWSsummit

Closing out with DeepRacer stories. "We have race cars!" is a surprisingly compelling @awscloud story #AWSSummit

I really want one of these hand buzzers. #AWSsummit