,
9 tweets,
2 min read
Read on Twitter
hem hem. i would like to make an observation about women and children that i've been stewing on for a while and i feel like i've come to understand more and more recently
i follow a few forums for people who don't want kids, and i've noticed that a lot of them are typified by a strong child-hating contingent (often women). these are people who go beyond not wanting kids of their own to feeling resentful and angry about kids in general
i find this unrelatable and off-putting, as someone who really likes children generally, and more importantly doesn't think they deserve hostility for what ultimately boils down to being children (sometimes with not-so-great parents, granted)
but i've realized that as i have felt more affirmed and empowered in my decision to not want kids (at the very least not biological kids), i have felt more and more compassion/admiration for mothers, and more love for children generally (maybe i will work with them!)
and i think what drives this child-hating (often causing a wedge between women with and without kids) is women feeling so judged, ashamed, and belittled for not wanting them that it inevitably overflows into a kind of generalized resentment towards them as a concept
and while i think it's immature for grown-ups to take out (rightful) frustration with our society on little humans who have no say in all this, i understand the feeling of bitterness -- many people on these forums are alienated from their families because they don't want kids
& ultimately i think the more we can go out of our way to not make people feel judged or ashamed for their choices -- to speak neutrally & not assume that every woman automatically wants to be a mother -- the more we can avoid the vicious cycle of mutual skepticism or resentment
anyway. i read both childfree forums & forums for moms, because i find them both compelling & find it makes me healthier to actively try to understand women making different choices, and sometimes i don't think we realize how judgmental we can be, even subconsciously. anyway, fin
i hope we can get to a place as a society where "i don't want them" is enough -- because the world would be much better off if only people who wanted to be parents were parents -- but unfortunately i think right now we don't give women that ability
