"Is it OK if I call you Slav?"
"I mean, you are almost there, man. Just one more sound."
He tries, fails, then settles on the entirely different approach and attempts to call me Slavan.
2 minutes later, he's forgotten it
"So, wait, you came here during the Gulf War Era?"
I didn't know it was an era.
"If there is anyone I'd worry about my wife cheating on me with, it would be this motherfucker."
His wife just texted him.
"I love finding out where people are from. Like this asshole here..."
His friend is from Thailand.
"I think women should be paid more than men."
I shake his hand.
"Fuck yeah", he screams. "There are three stars over that crest, bitches!"
For the sixth time or so he tells folks ahead of us that he is gonna be real loud. He isn't kidding. My boy has the loudest two-fingered whistle I've ever heard, and I've been in Soveit middle school.
"Fuck Jozy!" he screams at the entire local fan section. "You'll get Dempsey before you get Jozy!"
Nobody objects. The dude is like 5-foot-nothing, but he must carry his balls in a bag
"You are shitting me?", say about four people at once.