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🤣#4thofJuly
The best way you can honor American greatness is to enjoy all this event has to offer, which includes:
— A first-ever Fourth of July fireworks display.
chicagotribune.com/columns/rex-hu…
The best way you can honor American greatness is to enjoy all this event has to offer, which includes:
— A first-ever Fourth of July fireworks display.
chicagotribune.com/columns/rex-hu…
The president himself had the idea to develop these decorative sky explosions that he dubbed “fireworks.” The night will conclude with a massive fireworks show, with Donald Trump Jr. lighting all the fuses himself!
— Jumbo high-definition television screens will be
— Jumbo high-definition television screens will be
located throughout the Salute to America event grounds showing streaming video of DANGEROUS illegal immigrants being patriotically deprived of basic human rights in camps along the country’s southern border.
— A Virtual Reality Outrage Booster tent will allow
— A Virtual Reality Outrage Booster tent will allow
visitors to put on VR headsets and watch as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton do some of the same things President Trump has done. Your blood will boil as you watch Obama making money off foreign diplomats staying at a Washington, D.C., hotel he owns. And you’ll be filled
with anger as you see Clinton letting her daughter Chelsea act as a rep of the U.S. gov at high-profile meetings with world leaders! Can you imagine anyone besides President Trump doing that?!?
— The Indoor Skydiving Trump Donation Experience uses a giant wind
— The Indoor Skydiving Trump Donation Experience uses a giant wind
turbine to simulate skydiving while also sucking all the money out of your pockets and shooting it into a life-sized replica of President Trump’s pockets. You’ll have no idea you’re being taken for a ride!
There will be, as the president promised, “the brand-new Sherman tanks
There will be, as the president promised, “the brand-new Sherman tanks
”on display in the Definitely-Not-Overcompensating-for-Something Dome of Manliness. (Don’t believe the LYING MEDIA claims that Sherman tanks were last used in the 1950s. These Sherman tanks will be new, and they will be MAGNIFICENT!)
There will be powerful military jets
There will be powerful military jets
flying overhead, accompanied by Eric Trump making “ZOOOOOOOM!!!!” noises over the loudspeakers.
And of course, the highlight of the night will be a speech by our great leader, the best president in the 1,000-year history of America.
In keeping with our all-American ethics,
And of course, the highlight of the night will be a speech by our great leader, the best president in the 1,000-year history of America.
In keeping with our all-American ethics,
the White House has reserved prime seats for GOP donors and political appointees. This is truly “the people’s event,” and the people seated closest to the president will be the ones who donated the most money, as well as those who served their country by not responding to
congressional subpoenas or flipping like rats.
So welcome to President Donald J. Trump’s glorious Salute to America. Enjoy your day, donate money until you feel American glory coursing through your veins and give a full-throated cheer to CELEBRATE ALL AMERICANS, except for:
So welcome to President Donald J. Trump’s glorious Salute to America. Enjoy your day, donate money until you feel American glory coursing through your veins and give a full-throated cheer to CELEBRATE ALL AMERICANS, except for:
the pro-crime liberal LOSERS; the late Sen. John McCain; Robert Mueller; certain Gold Star families who have criticized the president; anyone who has ever criticized the president; all the president’s ex-wives; all former presidents; and the entire U.S. women’s soccer team.
