Thread by @Red_Pill_Dad

A thread:

When I was married, my wife would get terrible migraines.

She would be out of commission for days.

When she gave me a heads up, I would grab the kids, make dinner, run her a hot bath or shower, rub her neck, turn down all the lights in our bedroom, etc.

I loved her, and I wanted to take care of her. I worried, I worked to get her better.

This doesn’t change, because I made a commitment to her.

This is what a man does.

But imagine, if you will, a man like myself who had no clue who I was, what I do, what I accomplish.

My wife was a huge part of my life, but I made her my whole life.

And that’s not what all this is about.

She had a servant, not a husband, not a PARTNER.

I would have died for my wife to protect her. Still would, save for her being my ex, but she’s still the mother of my kids.

The point is, regardless of what I did for her, the love we shared is now gone because she didn’t respect me, and because I didn’t respect myself.

Through thick and thin I was there for my wife, but to her, I wasn’t a partner. I was a supporter.

And there’s a HUGE difference.

I’ve seen tons of marriages where it’s not even close to a complementary partnership.

When the going got tough, some people bolted. I was one.

But it was because I had deluded myself into understanding what marriage was supposed to be, instead of what it really is.

And the simple fact that I was a weak man, who had not done anything to find out who he truly was, that was one of the biggest downfalls on my marriage.

I was pretending. Life wasn’t. This was real.

And when the shit hits, that tells you who’s really in it to win it.

A marriage need two strong people who support each other unconditionally.

But they must first love themselves unconditionally, or it’s just make believe.

And that was why, regardless of what I did for my wife, she was never going to love me as a partner, but as a supporter.

I lived my entire life for her, and with her now gone, who the hell was I?