Thread by @Red_Pill_Dad

Playing the field, a thread for the ladies and the gentlemen:

All too often, many people are judgemental against people who actually want to date around.

Dating many people is absolutely required for anyone that wants to have a good, solid, long-lasting LTR, if that is indeed their goal.

This is also called "vetting."

I lost my virginity at 27, to the only woman I had ever slept with.

I didn't date much, nor did I even vet. I just went with the girl who said "yes" to my sexual advances.

The thirst was real.

As we progressed into our relationship, I was completely lost sexually. I had no clue, and the more we did it, the worst the sex became.

Until eventually, it went down to once a year.

We both were in the same boat.

She wanted kids because of her biological clock, and I wanted sex.

We were thrust together for other reasons, but the bottom line, we didn't vet each other until we were IN a relationship, which by that time, it was too late.

So here you have two dysfunctional people, who hadn't dated much, hadn't explored the world around them, met and vetted many different people, in a long term relationship and then marriage.

So it stands to reason this wasn't going to last.

and it certainly didn't.

Too often, men who have an abundance mindset are regarded as "players", and indeed many are, and they are perfectly free to do whatever the hell they want.

Many of them don't want an LTR, and that's fine.

Women are slut-shamed by doing the same thing and it's not right.

Everyone needs to date around.

Are you going to just jump into a relationship with the first girl you sleep with guys? That worked out terrible for me.

Women. Are you going to jump into a situation with a guy you know very little about because he hits you in the feels? NO

Your time is valuable. And to put some perspective on that value, you have to date around to find people that you're attracted to, who share your values, goals, and purpose.

Many men who spin plates are doing just that.

Women do the same thing. Women want to find a partner whom they can feel security, attraction, and intimacy.

So why do we make people feel bad about it?

People who play the field value their time.

They also value the fact that the more obstacles you can get in front of and take down BEFORE the LTR, the better the general health of said LTR.

Most people do the opposite, getting together then figuring it out.

And the bottom line is, if you vet correctly, you'll be better off in the long run because you truly are looking out for your best interest, all while giving another person the pleasure of knowing that you aren't there to waste their time, and you know what you want.

So many problems with relationships could be solved by people not jumping in headfirst.

If more people vetted, we would certainly see better, stronger, long term relationships.

So date around. Know what you like and dislike. It only helps your potential LTR.