Thread by @theAspergianCom

How to ruin people's faith in themselves and in you as an advocate:

1. Don't forgive missteps
2. Put mistakes on display for others to ridicule
3. Be the harshest comment
4. Be passive aggressive
5. Don't show good faith
6. Don't consider what brought a person to their beliefs

7. Make their needs about your feelings
8. Don't care about their struggles if they're not related to yours
9. Dismiss their struggles as not real or valid if they're different from yours
10. Leave no room for new ideas
11. Punish differences of opinion

12. Establish yourself as the authority so that no other voices or ideas can be expressed or heard
13. Show blind loyalty to/take sides with people who are demonstrating toxic or abusive behaviors
14. Isolate, bully, or criticize people as being "all bad" who disagree in one area

15. Make fun of autistic people for autistic behaviors by implying they are unintelligent, inarticulate, or immature
16. Refuse to admit mistakes
17. Be in competition instead of collaboration with other advocates

18. Never use your platform to uplift other advocates who are new, of a different religion, racial, or ethnic background, have different strengths and obstacles/disabilities, etc.

19. Blame someone for being a victim of internalized ableism instead of inspiring autistic pride

These behaviors create a toxic culture, and without conscious, thoughtful effort, all groups can devolve into these same patterns. In fact, we often do these things without even realizing we're doing them.

This is why we need to take stock and think about the big picture.

If you think people are afraid to approach you with a difference of opinion, or if challenging you means that there will be social punishment and isolation for the challenger, you need to make changes to your advocacy.

Progress and growth cannot happen when there are unspoken rules that can't be broken-- especially in autistic advocacy where the more nuanced the rules are, the harder they will be to master for most autistics. Someone's vocabulary or lack thereof should not matter.

Because autistic people can have a masterful vocabulary but be socially isolated or struggle with complicated social constructs. Or, people with limited vocabulary could have the most brilliant and important ideas but feel afraid to try and express their thoughts.

Remember that no matter how confident a message might seem, or how confusing or out-of-character, the meaning you make from the words might not be the one the writer intended. Use good faith and ask questions for clarification. Help them flesh out their thoughts.

This all goes out the window when we know someone is running a long-con as a troll trying to entrap people in a lose-lose conversation. But, unless you're sure it's a troll-- give them the benefit of the doubt. If someone is being entrapped by trolls, rescue them en masse.

If you have every troll blocked for your own protection, that is a fine and good strategy. No one needs to put up with trolls; however, if we all have all the trolls blocked, no one will be able to tell when someone is being harassed, manipulated, or harmed by predatory behavior.

Some people are here only to cause chaos, spread misinformation, and recruit. If you're strong enough and savvy enough, consider keeping an eye out for vulnerable people who are being manipulated and exploited by online bullies.

And when an autistic asks a question that seems socially "inept," it might be because that person has been socially isolated and doesn't even know why the question is offensive. Explain as if you're explaining to a good friend instead of condemning an "idiot."

Because they might not know better because no one taught them better.

This is not a set of rules for all autistic people. These are suggestions for advocates who have chosen to assume a leadership role and need to be benevolent and think things through to cause minimal harm.

These are general principles that should be kind of universal, but there are more specific principles which apply to specific populations. This is just food for thought.

#AskingAutistics what are ways to NOT be an advocate that are not be covered on this list?

What are some of your best practices to be a safe and inclusive advocate for all autistics? #ActuallyAutistic

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