Thread by @xjackiehong

This week has left me deeply exhausted on an existential level, in that it's reinforced what I guess I've always known — I will never truly "belong" in Canada.

I was born and raised here. I've always carried a Canadian passport. I know both official languages (although one admittedly much better than the other). I've spent my entire life in this country. But my last name and my face will always betray that I'm one of "those" people.

I think of my parents, who crossed oceans and continents, leaving behind everything they knew and loved in search of a better life more than 30 years ago.

I think about how hard they've worked, and how proud they look in their citizenship ceremony photos.

But I also think about all the times they've been belittled by their bosses because they have accents (from a former British colony, no less).

I think about all the times we've been on streetcars and buses and have been yelled at to "go home."

I think about all the times my parents have been told they're "stealing" jobs from "real Canadians."

I think about my brother, who was born and raised in Toronto just like me.

I think about the time he was leaving a Tim Hortons and walking back to college when a woman slowed her car down in the middle of the street just so she could yell out the window, "You people don't belong here!"

I think about speaking Cantonese at recess, and having a teacher threaten to call the police because, "This is Canada, we speak English here."

I think about everyone on the phone who's almost insisted back to me that my last name is "Hall," then go awkwardly silent when I correct them. It's almost as if they can't conceive someone with a last name like mine would speak with a Canadian accent.

I think about everyone who's told me I'm not a "real" hockey or Leafs fan, I just simply can't be.

I think about conversations on how there are too many immigrants, how it needs to stop, they're destroying the fabric of our nation.

"Oh, except you, I guess. You're different though, you're not LIKE THEM."

I think about news reports on how Chinese investors are snatching up Canadian properties in this city or that, and odd pauses and glances in conversations where it feels like I'm expected to respond to defend, despite having no ties at all to mainland China. Never even visited.

Canada is all I've ever known, and I've always identified myself as a Canadian first. I don't know what else I am if not that.

But people like me will never be enough.

And just when there's hope — a "non-traditional" politician! Better media representation! Public cultural celebrations! People looove food from "your country!" — something always comes around to remind you of your real place in Canada. Of where you truly stand.

It's exhausting.