1. Oy! Today, an encounter transported me to the early 1990s. I will write about this later. Suffice to say I thought of the period before Chris Hani (CH) was assaninated. I thought of the lonesome months CH endured. Yes, the details many of us, incl. media, prefer to forget.
2. In 1993, @RaymondSuttner and I decided to share our lives. That weekend, when we laid CH to rest was important to us because he was important to us (politically and personally). I don’t think we were conscious of this at the time.
3. Today, an accidental encounter took me back to the period preceding Hani’s assassination,his loneliness and the role of the media during one of the most troubled times in South African history.
4. After 90 minutes at the gym (45 minutes of circuit training and 45 minutes of timed swimming), I decided I earned relaxed time - fresh air and a drink. I went to Exclusive Books, Hyde Park, where I was told a book on Frida Kahlo waited for me.
5. On arrival, I discovered a book launch of Robert McBride’s biography, ‘The Struggle Continues’ was underway. I looked at adverts & to the title I silently added McBride’s words (uttered in 1987) ‘till Babylon Falls’. I went to restaurant and say facing Jozi open sky.
6. Even though I decided to ‘ignore’ the book launch and many comrades who were there a lot of feelings bubbled to the surface, especially the early 1990s. I remembered a conversation with CH about Robert McBride (and many RSA Youths and militants who were in jail/underground.
7. At home, I decided to look at my ‘CH notebooks’ and printout from my old TOSHIBA. I keep these because of historical record which I hope to write one day and because they are important...
8. (From notebook) Chris Hani speaking softly but forcefully, ‘one day when face this era,we will be forced to confront ourselves...& then we’ll realise we don’t hold the moral high ground. No,when we measure our choices against sacrificing young people like McBride...No,Chisana’
9. When that time comes, I hope that I’ll look at my grandchildren and say ‘yes, it was worth it’. I know that Madiba hopes his great grand children will look back and say ‘his sacrifices were worth it...’ Chisana, you ask about now? What do I know? My answer is simply this...
10. I am talking to our people in SDUs and I am saying ‘Comrades, we need to give negotiations a chance...’ What about the bombings? What about the trains? I look at them and say ‘yes, because of that, we must give negotiations a chance...’
11. They say ‘what about this death?’ I say ‘because of this death we must negotiate...’ Do I believe this, you ask, Chisana. ‘ I don’t know what I will believe in the long run, but at this moment I think negotiations must succeed...sometimes I think ‘eye for and eye’ ...
12. Lucky for me, I am not ‘eye for an eye guy’ so the moment passes quickly. But yes, like Mandela, Sisulu and many others sometimes I am shaken...sometimes I want De Klerk to answer for the violence...sometimes I think, I think, I think, ‘where’s my AK?’...
