Thread by @Delafina777

Hey, let's talk about going to the doctor.

It's awful. If you're female (or likely to be perceived as female), have *any* sort of weird medical issue, have chronic pain, are fat, or have one or more of a *long* list of other characteristics, you'll get treated as unreliable.

If you don't know a lot of medical terminology, you'll get treated like you're not very smart.

If you DO know medical terminology, you're one of those annoying patients who thinks they know everything.

If you *don't* emphasize that you're in a lot of pain, you clearly don't need much help managing your pain.

If you *do* emphasize that you're in a lot of pain, you're clearly exaggerating and probably a drug-seeker.

It's a complete and utter nightmare: exhausting, infuriating, and humiliating if you're at your best, and a hundred times worse if you're not.

Medical professionals are usually, at best, tired and cynical, and at worst, outright contemptuous or hostile toward patients.

Pharmacists, not doctors, have been the ones who've saved me several times from dangerous drug interactions. Massage therapists are usually the ones who accurately diagnosed mechanical problems doctors told me were all in my head or not really problems.

(O HAI STRUCTURAL LEG LENGTH DISPARITY CAUSING A TILTED PELVIS, REPEATED KNEE INJURIES, AND CHRONIC BACK PAIN, FIXED BY A SIMPLE ORTHOTIC)

And in an ideal world, doctors would ACTUALLY treat patients as partners in their own health care.

After all, doctors are experts on how human bodies are *supposed* to work. You're an expert on how your body has been working for its entire existence.

But that's not likely to happen any time soon.

So what can you do?

Take a friend with you.

A lot of us have an easier time advocating for others than we do for ourselves. That's doubly true when you're not feeling well and are low on energy.

You can have a friend there as a patient advocate to back you up, remember what the doctor says, etc.

If you ask to be checked for something, for a particular test, to explore a particular treatment option, etc. and the doctor brushes you off, ask that they note that you requested it and they refused.

I mean, look, they are professionals. It might be a case where for some reason what you're asking for *is* irrelevant or ridiculous.

In which case they should be able to explain why that's so, and shouldn't be afraid for that to be on the record.

Ask for a copy of your medical records/their notes at the end of the appointment.

Make your own file. That way, if you go to get a second opinion, it's less likely they'll make you redo things you've already tried, since it's another doctor saying those things were done.

And to be clear: I'm not telling you to be hostile or confrontational. You can do all this very politely and respectfully.

But make sure everything is documented, and make sure you get copies of that documentation.

And all of that said, as unpleasant as it is, please attend to your medical care. Your life is precious.