Fascinating 1991 story about Bill Barr w/ a lot of modern players, incl some modern democrats praising Barr in his ‘91 confirmation hearing for being “refreshingly candid”.
TL/DR: Bill Barr was a bully all through school. He grew up to be a bully.
So is his boss.
THREAD.
TL/DR: Bill Barr was a bully all through school. He grew up to be a bully.
So is his boss.
THREAD.
Some background. Back in ‘16, I noticed that I was angry and anxious all the time. I didn’t know why until, during a Trump stump speech, I realized I was feeling the same things I used to feel in jr high when I was the target of my home town’s bullies.
I was feeling it A LOT.
I was feeling it A LOT.
From 1976 through 1981 (10-15yo) I was mocked, punched, pranked, sexually assaulted, and generally publicly fucked with by a guy named Jim Dunn, all to the amusement of his fellow bullies. EVERYONE laughed. At me. With him. Every time.
My face is hot with rage and shame now, just recalling it, just as hot as it was when these things were happening in real time. I am now 54.
I get the same feeling from Donald Trump and Bill Barr. Both play to the cheap seats with their bluster, mocking and threatening those who challenge them, and when my country laughs with them I am ... undone.
Here’s the thing: those who have been bullied KNOW bullies when we see them. We feel the danger when ordinary bystanders laugh off their bullying as jokes. WE FEEL THE DANGER.
My generation (gen x) and my parents’ generation were terrible at fighting bullies. All the advice I ever got from my parents and their friends, and even the advice I’ve given, is insufficient. We have been collectively looking for the “one weird trick”...
...that would shut them down forever. But as we all know from bad clickbait, that one weird trick doesn’t exist, and we felt powerless when our smart brains couldn’t beat their dumb brawn.
Now the entire nation has become both audience and victim for a cabal of vicious, privileged bullies.
How do we fight them?
How do we fight them?
The answer isn’t simple.
We have to be smarter than them, but that isn’t enough. Most of our attempts to fiht back WILL fail, even though we’re smart and they’re a particular flavor of dumb. The wall of sycophants around a bully will always distain expertise as arrogance.
We have to be smarter than them, but that isn’t enough. Most of our attempts to fiht back WILL fail, even though we’re smart and they’re a particular flavor of dumb. The wall of sycophants around a bully will always distain expertise as arrogance.
We have to be persistent, too. We tire them by fighting back, again and again, even though we get beaten in the process. And we must continually expose their lies and threats and jokes for what they are, turning national attention from laughter to clarity.
We have to heal our wounds and keep fighting, even though our wounds live in the core of us, in our identities, in our secret fears, in our souls.
We heal by holding space, by telling and hearing our stories, and by lifting each other up to fight another day. We celebrate our strengths and practice compassion every single day.
We have to stop, immediately, laughing at their jokes. All of us. For each of us. Don’t just congratulate yourself for failing to laugh when they’ve hurt you personally. Refuse to give any bully anything but a clear-eyed finger pointed right at their sadistic face.
But even more than all of this, we need to listen to the bullied.
We need these stories, and we need to hear them with courage - as if our lives depend on them, because they do.
We need these stories, and we need to hear them with courage - as if our lives depend on them, because they do.
Why? Because the bullied can identify bullies by smell. We know those subtle changes of tone, those not so subtle facial expressions, those shoulder feints and stomping feet. We recognize the sometimes nervous, sometimes vicious laughter of the bully’s fawning crowd.
We are expert cruelty detectors.
We are highly engineered radar arrays that see THAT kind of danger.
We are highly engineered radar arrays that see THAT kind of danger.
We can warn you.
We can take a punch.
We can help all of us understand when we are about to put another bully into power. And we can help you take them down.
LISTEN TO US.
We can take a punch.
We can help all of us understand when we are about to put another bully into power. And we can help you take them down.
LISTEN TO US.
Who is us? Demographically, we are talking about a lot of people of color, indigenous people, women, queer and trans folk of all stripes, and a lot of quiet intellectuals. (And me. I’m an old white lady, but I’ve got 40 years of experience in bully detection.)
When a bully appears, we will point them out - even when they are on our team. And we will show you how to stand up and keep standing up, to fight and keep fighting, until the bullies are defeated.
And then, when the battle is won, we will help make sure that we don’t become the bullies.
(Sidebar: Recently I saw a video of Joe Biden cracking wise at a voter who jokingly asked him how to get his wife back. The wisecrack? “I’m beginning to see why your wife left you.” It wasn’t particularly cutting, but his rhythm and the laughter of the crowd felt like...
...every exchange I’ve had with bullies. Combined with his blithe 1991 praise of Barr for “refreshing candor”, this isn’t a good look for a Democratic presidential candidate. I will vote for Joe in the general if he’s nominated, but I’m putting him on my bully watch list.)
@threadreaderapp unroll please. Thanks!
