Geo women are having way too much fun with this on #WomenInScienceDay, but I’d like to run out the consequences of it.
This isn’t just bizarroland for the poor goddess of geology, but for the geology itself.
Ready?
This isn’t just bizarroland for the poor goddess of geology, but for the geology itself.
Ready?
Volcanoes can erupt of gold, but it’s rare to be more than trace amounts.
Galeras, Columbia once produced 40ppb gold, so yes, it’s... technically possible to erupt economic concentrations of gold? But way too dangerous to mine.
1994 NYT: nytimes.com/1994/10/28/wor…
Galeras, Columbia once produced 40ppb gold, so yes, it’s... technically possible to erupt economic concentrations of gold? But way too dangerous to mine.
1994 NYT: nytimes.com/1994/10/28/wor…
But volcanoes don’t just happen anywhere.
They need melt, which is produced by water dropping melting points (subduction zones) or unusually hot spots in the mantle (plumes). Or, apparently, goddesses in miniskirts & heels arousing magma.
📷 Encyclopedia Britannica
They need melt, which is produced by water dropping melting points (subduction zones) or unusually hot spots in the mantle (plumes). Or, apparently, goddesses in miniskirts & heels arousing magma.
📷 Encyclopedia Britannica
We’re scientists, so we tested assertion is geology goddesses in high heels are a valid eruption trigger for gold-rich lavas.
It didn’t work.
Even 12+ hours later, there’s a distinct lack of new gold sources, which in context I’m pretty sure would spew. Or spurt.
It didn’t work.
Even 12+ hours later, there’s a distinct lack of new gold sources, which in context I’m pretty sure would spew. Or spurt.
But let’s say it worked.
Let’s say instead of spending hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars on exploration, geophysical surveys, and drilling for new targets, you could just waltz in to Fluevog, drop a few hundred dollars, and develop a new mineral source ANYWHERE.
Let’s say instead of spending hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars on exploration, geophysical surveys, and drilling for new targets, you could just waltz in to Fluevog, drop a few hundred dollars, and develop a new mineral source ANYWHERE.
Geology has more #WomenInScience than most of the STEM fields, at least a dozen of which wear high heels recreationally.
It’s probably more than that, but these are goddesses and I wouldn’t wish to assume.
It’s probably more than that, but these are goddesses and I wouldn’t wish to assume.
Lava is very hot, the gases are very toxic, and even the ash is actually microscopic shards of glass ready to shred your lungs, so you’’d think that triggering an eruption is a one-time deal before abruptly dying.
But we’re talking about goddesses of geology.
They have asbestos.
But we’re talking about goddesses of geology.
They have asbestos.
With 1-2 goddesses per continent prancing around in heels, the rest of you hapless mortals are out of luck. But hey! Now you can find out what it’s like to die in lava.
Hint: You’re less dense than rock so you’re going to float.
Details: wired.com/2011/12/the-ri…
Hint: You’re less dense than rock so you’re going to float.
Details: wired.com/2011/12/the-ri…
Hot lava is, well, hot.
Depending on composition, erupting lava on Earth is on order of 700-1250°C. Gold melts at 1064°C, so we’re looking at Hawaiian-eruption-hot.
Gold & quartz are BFFs, so I’m expect it to be silica-rich, which means bubble-trapping, which means EXPLOSIVE.
Depending on composition, erupting lava on Earth is on order of 700-1250°C. Gold melts at 1064°C, so we’re looking at Hawaiian-eruption-hot.
Gold & quartz are BFFs, so I’m expect it to be silica-rich, which means bubble-trapping, which means EXPLOSIVE.
But we have a bigger problem.
We think about surface volcanoes as a reflection of internal geological processes. What happens when surface processes are driving internal geology?
If we’re driving new mantle thermaldynamics, how quickly are we going to be deeply fucked?
We think about surface volcanoes as a reflection of internal geological processes. What happens when surface processes are driving internal geology?
If we’re driving new mantle thermaldynamics, how quickly are we going to be deeply fucked?
Where you are determines what hazards you have. Earthquakes & volcanoes are (mostly) along tectonic boundaries, with the type of boundary driving the exact nature of the hazard. This helps us plan & prepare.
San Francisco has better seismic codes than Melbourne.
San Francisco has better seismic codes than Melbourne.
What happens when our Aussie goddess of geology slips on some heels for a night on the town in Sidney, then catches a plane to Adelaide to tour wine country?
Australia hasn’t had an eruption since Red Rock, Mt. Napier, Mt. Schank, & Mt. Gambier had a party in 5850-2900 BCE.
Australia hasn’t had an eruption since Red Rock, Mt. Napier, Mt. Schank, & Mt. Gambier had a party in 5850-2900 BCE.
Geophysicists like me investigate the interior of planets in part by seeing how seismic waves propagate.
Most of the time we need to wait passively for an earthquake.
Now we can trigger eruptions?
Fuck. Yeah.
Most of the time we need to wait passively for an earthquake.
Now we can trigger eruptions?
Fuck. Yeah.
Every time a goddess walks, she’s going to be spiking shots of heat into the crust, creating long lines of volcanoes.
Which is what we see at spreading zones where upwelling generates new crust.
Y’know, building oceans & splitting continents.
Whoops?
Which is what we see at spreading zones where upwelling generates new crust.
Y’know, building oceans & splitting continents.
Whoops?
Plate tectonics move a few centimeters per year, about the same rate your fingernails grow. (What happens when a goddess of geology gets a manicure??)
That’s slow enough that we’re not going to jam continents together faster than we’re splitting them up.
That’s slow enough that we’re not going to jam continents together faster than we’re splitting them up.
We’re not entirely certain how heat transfers within the Earth, nor the exact nature of interaction between layers.
What happens if these heat injections fuck with the dynamics of the liquid iron-rich outer core? Y’know, the thing that generates our protective magnetic field?
What happens if these heat injections fuck with the dynamics of the liquid iron-rich outer core? Y’know, the thing that generates our protective magnetic field?
Even thinking superficially, the ability to generate eruptions at will has enormous military applications.
While many tease dolling up in makeup, hair, & heels is preparing for battle, goddesses of geology need to treat their shoes as weapons of mass destruction.
While many tease dolling up in makeup, hair, & heels is preparing for battle, goddesses of geology need to treat their shoes as weapons of mass destruction.
Silver lining?
If all I need to do is toss a pair of heels in my kit to completely eliminate sexual harassment during fieldwork, I am all in. “You harass me, I call forth a pyroclastic flow” only seems fair.
If all I need to do is toss a pair of heels in my kit to completely eliminate sexual harassment during fieldwork, I am all in. “You harass me, I call forth a pyroclastic flow” only seems fair.
While the author only posits
miniskirt + low-cut top + heels = heels
it only makes logical sense that other outfits would produce other outcomes.
A shopping spree at the mall to test this theory is far cheaper than most exploration geophysics surveys.
miniskirt + low-cut top + heels = heels
it only makes logical sense that other outfits would produce other outcomes.
A shopping spree at the mall to test this theory is far cheaper than most exploration geophysics surveys.
I will admit I’m gently concerned what would happen at conferences. We’re just starting to hit the point we sometimes have lines for the restroom.
California would have a lot more volcanoes after the annual AGU meeting in San Francisco in December.
California would have a lot more volcanoes after the annual AGU meeting in San Francisco in December.
While gold does have characteristics that make it inherently useful (inert, malleable, ductile, conductive), part of its value comes from its perceived scarcity.
Even a dozen goddesses continuously producing new, easily-accessible sources is going to majorly mess with economics.
Even a dozen goddesses continuously producing new, easily-accessible sources is going to majorly mess with economics.
I have a solution. It’s one that protects terrestrial gold markets, prevents constant emergence of new volcanic fields splitting continents, removes the threat of global volcanic war, and also addresses a long-standing injustice.
Extraterrestrial goddesses of geology.
Extraterrestrial goddesses of geology.
From now on, all astronauts must be women. Spacesuits were originally built a by lingerie company & Skylab required lock-wedge-shoes, so incorporating heels can’t be too hard.
Moon landing, but with triggered eruptions.
Asteroid landing, but we get a fresh interior sample.
Moon landing, but with triggered eruptions.
Asteroid landing, but we get a fresh interior sample.
But really, if you’re looking for an awkward geological euphemism for ejaculation?
We’re a field where cleavage is a technical term, we lube up drill bits, and geysers exist. Cummingtonite is an actual mineral., and subduction leads to orogeny. You don’t need to stretch.
We’re a field where cleavage is a technical term, we lube up drill bits, and geysers exist. Cummingtonite is an actual mineral., and subduction leads to orogeny. You don’t need to stretch.
Frustratingly, I can’t actually call out fictional creepy dude as being unrealistic. I’ve had & heard too many experiences where competency of incredible geo women was discounted Just Because.
Pretty? Can’t be smart.
Ugly? Can’t be smart.
Exist? Must waiting be for men to ogle.
Pretty? Can’t be smart.
Ugly? Can’t be smart.
Exist? Must waiting be for men to ogle.
Recommended reading for fiction of kick-ass women & geology:
@nkjemisin Broken Earth Triology
Perpetual disasters, magic, & minerals.
@Annaleen Future of Another Timeline
Geologically-based time travel.
If they wrote Mr. Creepy, he’d be a villain that’d die in a gold eruption.
@nkjemisin Broken Earth Triology
Perpetual disasters, magic, & minerals.
@Annaleen Future of Another Timeline
Geologically-based time travel.
If they wrote Mr. Creepy, he’d be a villain that’d die in a gold eruption.
Epilogue:
Little did we know...
Little did we know...
Update:
Mr. Creepy was describing a REAL PERSON he ACTUALLY MET and this excerpt is from a NON-FICTION BOOK.
I’m going to need some new shoes.
Maybe basic pump to trigger a decades of oozing mud relentlessly engulfing his bedroom in goo with low economic value?
Mr. Creepy was describing a REAL PERSON he ACTUALLY MET and this excerpt is from a NON-FICTION BOOK.
I’m going to need some new shoes.
Maybe basic pump to trigger a decades of oozing mud relentlessly engulfing his bedroom in goo with low economic value?
