As a former member of the Leopards Eating People's Faces party until it became extremist, I can tell you that the Let's Not Eat Anyone's Face party will get nowhere unless it elects a candidate who wants leopards to eat *some* people's faces.
Listen to me! Yes, I was chased out of my old party by the very leopards that I had so lovingly fed from my own hand, but I am wise and knowing.
And of course, in government we must restore the leopards to their treasured place in our nation's capital. To hunt them would be as gross a crime as those who unleashed them into the nurseries.
