Thread by @michaelharriot

debate thread:

Wait... why does Sanders keep calling it the Ebola crisis?

This is the epitome of the two candidates. Biden is talking about the exact steps and Sanders is explaining how Coronavirus is an analogy for what ails America.

Like racism, a virus ain’t no SAT problem.

Sanders is right... Bailing out the banks helped the top 1% and the Wall Street cronies that caused the disaster.

Biden is right, those measures brought the American economy from the brink of disaster.

Elizabeth Warren was EXACTLY right, we should have—

Oh, wait...

Who would’ve thought that a candidate would be bragging about how often he washes his hands during a presidential debate.

To be fair, if Trump was there, he’d say Google is handling this hoax very strongly by building a MySpace page

This debate is boring without Warren DDT-ing Bloomberg every minute.

I might just watch the highlights on Sportscenter.

What else are they gonna show?

I love that Bernie said go to “the YouTube.”

They are really going at each other necks! I don’t know why they’re slinging so much mud and going for blood when they’re in the same party!

Oh wait... I accidentally switched to an episode of the Walking Dead and could t tell the difference.

My bad.

Joe shouldn’t even try to argue that Sanders doesn’t have a record for standing with the working class.

It’s like Trump arguing that he won a 5th grade spelling bee

I thought they were gonna talk about making marijuana available and more affordable after the commercial!

That’s the Green New Deal, right?

Moderator: Bernie, will you pick a woman VP?

Bernie: Lets talk about immigration

Mod: But will you choose a woman?

Bernie: Have you seen my abortion votes?

Mod: But a woman VP. Will you like pick one.

Bernie: i mean... I guess.

Biden’s campaign slogan should be: Why y’all always bringing up old shit?

Every answer from Biden:

1 day, aliens were gonna invade, a nuclear missile was on the way and the sun was gonna fall out of the sky.

Barack called me and said: “Handle that,” so I write a sky-falling bill, intercepted the missile, did Karate on the aliens and saved us all.

Biden should say:

“Bernie, what’s the name of the legislation you wrote that helped the working class the most? Is it the one naming the post office or that one funding that VFW hall?”

Bernie just said that he doubts that Biden could generate the energy and excitement needed to defeat Biden.

Sir...

This is a hard choice: basically it’s a choice between:

1. an old white guy with a long record of getting shit done. It wasn’t always the right thing, sometimes it was wrong AF, but he got it done.

Or:

2. An old white guy who ALWAYS took the right position. It never resulted in anything substantive, but he was right.

Or:

4. An Old white guy who ALWAYS says and does the wrong thing.

I know you’re wondering what happened to #3.

Well...

#3 is a great presidential candidate who has the temperament, experience and history to be president but didn’t have enough money.

#3 never wins.