1/ Welcome to Thursday in the independent republic of Brexitlandia
2/ Regular readers will note that we learned yesterday that the Government had undertaken no impact assessments, had no agreed plan as to what it wanted from Brexit and still triggered a 2 year ticking clock 🤡🤡🤡
3/ Last night @CommonsEUexit considered whether Cretinus Maximus @DavidDavisMP may be in contempt of Parliament but decided he was not 🤔🙄
4/ The reasoning (to use the term loosely) was that he could not mislead about something that did not exist. Perhaps the concern was it would set a bad precedent for MPs on Brexit as a whole 😬
5/ The casual observer may conclude if Cretinus Maximus lied that the assessments did not exist maybe he should resign in shame 😔
6/ But apparently that has not been considered as a matter of integrity unlike his proposal to resign over Old Skool Porn Green having the right to service himself at work 😂😂😂
7/ Either Cretinus Maximus lied that the assessments existed and the Maybot had read them or he still will not disclose them and is lying that they do not exist 🤥🤥🤥
8/ The impartial bystander may wonder if this the right person to be leading negotiations with the EU when trust and goodwill are paramount 🤝
9/ Speaking of which last night Parliament voted down an obligation of transparency on the financial settlement because Brexit is not about bringing accountability closer to home 🖕
10/ Government has been perfectly clear Parliament should not have voted on triggering article 50, will not publish its impact assessments, has proposed a bill giving individual
Ministers the power to change laws, bribed the DUP and adjusted its majority on Parl committees 🙀
Ministers the power to change laws, bribed the DUP and adjusted its majority on Parl committees 🙀
11/ How can people think it is about accountability even though Government tells us it is about control of our borders, money and laws. A foolish notion indeed 😳
12/ Still yesterday was a welcome distraction from the fact that the UK is close to not agreeing a deal with the DUP or the EU or indeed itself 😱
13/ Luckily Skeletor (Peter Bone MP) offered to "help" negotiations to "sort the EU out" as though they were some recalcitrant teenager not tidying their room 👊👊👊
14/ Skeletor ever the diplomat sent out his Christmas card 🎅🏻
15/ A thoughtful observer may wonder why Skeletor is casting himself as a character based on an individual who helped the poor 💪🏻
16/ or indeed a character that tends to be in favour of free movement across borders 🌍
17/ or indeed a character some say is drawn from Wodan, leader of the Wild Hunt. For those unfamiliar with the story, witnessing the Wild Hunt usually preceded a catastrophic event ☄️🔥🌪
18/ But such an analogy would be inappropriate at a time the country is finally coming together (apart from N Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Gibraltar, London, most big cities, Cornwall and Grimsby) to enjoy the fruits of Brexit 🍏🍓🍒
19/ In a bid to persuade any remaining doubters, Phil Hammond sought to raise morale by explaining that productivity was down only due to disabled people 🙏
20/ For those keen on lists, disabled people can now be added to the list of people undermining Brexit and who will not be getting a present from Skeletor: remainers, the EU, Gina Miller, judges, Ireland, MPs with a conscience, most of the House of Lords, experts 🙄
21/ In the meantime, the EU is waiting patiently for the UK to decide what it wants. I would imagine all other countries around 🌍, are also wondering if they really want to negotiate trade deals with a country whose Government exposes itself as inept, mendacious and duplicitous
22/ But presumably I am mistaken and the fault lies with the 🌍for not wishing it was still 1922 when the UK had an empire of 450 million people and was a global leader in "free trade" 😆
23/ Indeed no doubt I am also mistaken for thinking Cretinus Maximus should resign for lying, Hammond for his comments on disabled people, Green for viewing porn at work, BOJO 🤡for risking a longer jail sentence for a British citizen (among other things)...
24/ Rudd for wrongly sending out 100 deportation letters to EU citizens. But that would indicate a degree of awareness for how their behaviour has fallen short. Even then the man in the street would not imagine it a bar to returning to power as Liam Fox has ably demonstrated. 😉
25/ Indeed there were reports in the press of a plan to make Cretinus Maximus the PM by Christmas. Silly me and my mistaken thinking 🤡
26/ After all, all of this was what everyone voted for, right? 😜
27/ Reports indicate that so far 16 people from the HOC (650 members) and HOL (about 800) have gone to read the Brexit summaries (not impact assessments to be clear) in the Brexit reading room. In statistical terms that is around 1%...😰
28/ and here is the confirmation
29/ The casual observer may wonder if the country's representatives are in holiday mode already or whether their collective "ostrich head in the sand" approach will really make all this magically go away 🧙♂️
30/ Said observer may question why Brexit supporting representatives are not seizing the opportunity at long last to finally shape the country's future for the better using all the available evidence to deliver tangible benefits that the EU restricted the UK from having 😉
31/ Reports also emerge that the UK wanted to retain an advocate general at the ECJ given the likely ongoing role of the ECJ on citizens' rights. It would appear the UK thinks have representation at EU level is a good thing even though the UK says the ECJ is worse than rabies 🤪
32/ Meanwhile @MollyMEP @JolyonMaugham @GoodLawProject (👊👊) have started proceedings regarding the mythical Brexit impact assessments. The public will learn which of the two lies in tweet 7 above is the truth🤨
33/ The powerless man in the street would surely tip his hat in admiration while also wondering why crowd funded legal action is now the main tool to hold Government to account over Brexit 👩⚖️👨⚖️🔬🔬🔬
34/ Meanwhile everyone wonders whether the Maybot will agree a deal with the DUP. Despite "gifting" the DUP £1.5bn in tax payer monies, the DUP are holding firm ⛔️
35/ In a remarkable quote said by a DUP source, they expressed their view in measured tones: “We’re going to slow it all down. This is a battle of who blinks first — and we’ve cut off our eyelids.”😋
36/ And all the while the Brexit clock ticks on tick tock tick tock tick tock 🕰️🕰️🕰️
