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Jeff Black @LRBitisnot
, 45 tweets, 12 min read Read on Twitter
Hi @RBReich!

🚨Trump will blatantly LIE during his #SOTU shit-show tonight.

👉I've therefore written a COMPLETE speech for Donald, in his voice. It's raw satire. Grounded in researched facts, while cutting deeply into the fetid flesh of #TheRegime.☠️…

Here we go. #SOTU!

I'm gonna watch for you.

We're about to watch a Nazi.

1} A long, quiet applause from the empty suits in an empty room. Trump's meds are working so far. Republican's are spread into a relatively empty chamber audience of very, very, very, very almost exclusively WHITE people! Ugh!
2} Sucking up to military with gobbledy-gook of repulsive proportions.

We have the BEST MASS SHOOTING clean-up crews ANYWHERE!

GOP is ALL spread out in a very empty chamber!

Volunteers of the Cajun Navy? What? Trump is letting Puerto Rico fester in open sewage.
3} He wants to join us in harmony as a representative democracy (my words not his) tonight. The dick-bag is putting on a saccharine sweet shit show. He thinks he's in a movie, I promise. We're strong, great and HAPPY. Right?!
4} Let us all be SAFE, STRONG and PROUD. Awwwww

So sweet. I could have written that for myself or for you.

Oh yeah! I did!…
5} Bragging about TREMENDOUS (Obama) Jobs! Hooray.

Trump said the sun can come up tomorrow and gravity is still acceptable.
6} Blacks love him. Hispanics TOO!

Minorities? You're ALL EMPLOYED! Hooray!

Who new?

All your STOCKS are going to make you rich. YOU ARE WELCOME.

Do you get a 401K for returning Soda and Beer Cans?

Jesus wept....and TAX CUTS for someone. EVERYONE.
7} His special guest are small business people "hand out RAISES to their employees" due to #TrumpTax Breaks that they have never seen yet.
ONE is even black! "He's also a great welder!" WTF... dickbag..
8} "Apple" is going to invest in the continental US and hire people. Amazing. How does Trump get that done?!

This man is a grifter of proportions never seen on a world stage. Disgusting
9} He's unifying us by FORCE again. Great FLAG! Applause!!!!!🇺🇸👏👏👏👏👏👏

Faith and Family is the center of your life! Trump says so.

We are Family!
We are Family!
We are Family!
We are Family!
ICE too. Happy family!
10} Young "Preston" puts flags on our war dead!

That must drive the economy. FLAG sale = $$$$
OMG - Repulsive
A little white kid carrying flags around with his families' glowing fascist pride.
11} The "government will show you LOVE and LOYALTY."
"What the world FUCKIN' needs NOW," Am I right?!
"We're TOTALLY DEFENDING our 2nd Amendment."
Ah-men mother-fucker!
You're gonna LOVE his judges. Better than any EVER.
"Let me give myself a big round of applause!"
Vets =😍😍😍
12} Trump is offering free D.C. blow jobs to anyone that HAS ever worn a uniform or carried a gun. 2nd amendment is GODLY as FUCK.
Heroes. Just Heroes.
Rapists? Some.
Murderers? Occasionally.
Some nice ones - surely.
Clean Coal! - It's gonna fuel great beautiful self-driving cars
13} EVERYTHING "you EVER wanted is COMING back." No shit. Bridge sales? Moon property? We got it.

He's in a groove. Feeling strong and confident while taking credit for ever single "great, beautiful" thing that has happened since 1985!
14} We're taking Mexico's Jobs. Fuck'em!

Can you say "They're taking OUR JOBS," in Spanish?
America has the "action!" Swinging baby - Jesus. Does he watch Austen Powers cause he believes Dr. EVIL is REAL?
15} Oops. He did something ELSE that hasn't happen in our HISTORY. What? Not sure! Doesn't matter. Trust me. But he did it.

Oh boy - he's gonna give us CHEAPER DRUGS! I heard his Cocaine is TOP NOTCH. No rat poison at all. The best. Prices are going down!

HOW? WATCH! Awesome!
16} No more pansy-ass "The era of Economic Surrendering is over for US," apparently! Not while Daddy's home!

"RECIPRICAL" - He says his NEW BEST VOCAB word like it's a full blown debate case. Jesus. Just pathetic.

He's pleading with us, Friends. Please understand him.
17} Inside VOICE & no attacks on anyone. Good behavior. MSNBC is gonna be so open to the new - sweet - great beautiful American Trump.
We're builders. We haven't done it for a WHILE, under IDIOTS! But, now GENIUS Trump will take off the chains of huge developers. Just inspiring!
18} Arbeit Macht Frei
Arbeit Macht Frei!
Arbeit Macht Frei!
Arbeit Macht Frei!

Jobs! Work. YOU! Earn it! You're welcome. Don't you know the pride that $12 an hour provides? We're raising American's here. No handouts - cause we LOVE you so. Old, crippled, sick - no dignity. WORK!
19} Back to tax cuts. That trickle down is COMING SOON to all the people that are not working now - BUT WILL BE SOON.

Work! Work for DADDY. Realize your potential for Donald. Arbeit Macht Frei! Truly - that's what America is all about!
20} NOW, let's get midevil.
Taking your jobs

STOP. Serious! Uh oh - SICK, a vomitous GROAN from the audience.
21} Ohhhhhh...
Our "Guests" come from families of people MURDERED by our SCAPEGOATS.

Shameless pig. REALLY RUBBING it in!
Oh, you like #Dreamers do you? Great.
A DREAMER GREW UP to MURDER two little girls. Cut to the horrified grieving families. Strangest clap-off EVER. WEIRD.
22} A few diehards standing. GLARING loopholes. "Unaccompanied ALIEN MINORS," turned into MURDERERS. HORRIFIED military and non-insane audience members are FUCKING GLUED to their seats. Alien minor going to high school to murder. Precious girls. Brutally murdered. WTF about KY?!
23} We're all grieving now, while the families look shell shocked. I am definitely in GRIEF. This is an abortion. No surprise, but still.

320 Million HEARTS are breaking because (Mx-13?) gang members like to murder 16 year old girls.
24 Everything is GREAT! Incredible! Amazing! Economy through the roof. Minorities now employed it's AWESOME. GREAT GREAT ICE agents will stop all murder. Never again. I promise. Panic room available? Go there until he's done.
25} We do more than any other country for everyone - but let's worry about US now. He's offering an "OPEN HAND," but I wouldn't take it on a bet. He doesn't let go. You've seen it right? American's don't murder, but IMMIGRANTS DO. SAFETY. FAMILY. AMERICANS - they're DREAMERS too.
26} I fucking told you Friends.

I told you two days ago. I pleaded. #Dreamers is a losing brand. It's DEAD!

Guess what? Trump just CO-OPTED #Dreamers for the winter white-xenophobic fuck nuts in the chamber.

"Everyone POOPS."
Even Donald.
#DACA is now #CACA
27} Become a citizen in ONLY 12 years! It's one of Trump's PILLARS. GUESS the other.
The Wall! Duh...SEAL OUR BORDER on the SOUTH.
HEROES like CJ or DJ (trump says both work!)
Safety! He's got it. YOU need IT!
He's a deal maker!
3rd PILLAR - didn't know there'd be a third....
28} Solo STANDING O' from Ted Cruz. Did his father murder JFK or not? ALL IS FORGIVEN. Ethnic Cleansing is so sweet. No more "CATCH and RELEASE!" Guantanamo? We keep them forever now? Where? For what?
#GreatWall building SLAVES would be very useful.
Keep it in mind...
29} MERIT is key! I Don't have to tell YOU what a merit-based HUMAN looks like - NOR an non-merit-based-human?

Pillar #3 - No visa lottery. Winners ONLY! It takes $$ to play. YOU can leave.
This if full NAZI insanity. YOU can leave now. Or we might just keep you forever. Bye!
30} Do the MATH? Terrorists = Lottery Winners, apparently?
LUCK Terrorists I guess?
Patient Terrorists are the BEST Terrorists and they must be really patient!
Trump's "Pledge is IronClad."

#AmericaFirst - FAMOUS Nazi slogan - NO JOKE and he knows it. Shameless... shameless.
31} 4th pillar. It's a pillar. I'm not going back.
This is as Nazi a speech as Hitler would give if he were with us to make Trump his BITCH on this very NIGHT.

🤮I fucking HATE Nazi's.

☠️President Trump is Nazi Scum.

Bumper Sticker Time!

☠️President Trump is Nazi Scum.
32} "Weakness is the surest path to conflict & UNMATCHED POWER IS surest means to our true & great defense!"
Nobody in a Nation (or anyone else?) will fuck with us then?
Could the future be MAGICAL? Maybe.
Then we could get rid of NUKES.
33} This Trump-Fucker could sell a hand gun and a coffin to a toddler!
34} Modernize and rebuild our Nuclear Arsenal.
Fund the military or we'll all die soon.
It's not the "magical future now, SADLY."
Until then, we're gonna stock up weapons like a right-wing mass shooter. That's what life is about. Safety. NOBODY likes fear. ISIS!!!
35} Trump's WET DREAM:
@Trump: Ring, Ring!

NUKE GUY: Yes, Mr President.
@Trump: I wanna NUKE ISIS.

Pick a spot, any spot. They're ALL EQUAL in the Middle East. Bombs are the fucking bomb-digity bomb.

ONE guy claps REALLY loud, compared to the BEST EVER Anemic #SOTU audience.
36} He's masturbating in public about #JackBauer torture porn again. Battery cables & pliers are in the Military Budget - No Worries. He's EXCITED!

He tells generals what to do. Just did it before coming on stage. Again. You're welcome. Leadership! And Guantanamo - of course!
37} New military "rules-of-engagement?"

Trick Question!!!!!

No RULES for Trump or US!
He just established an Israeli Holy Land. Awesome!
He's a fucking golden GOD!
Friends = Good
Enemies = Bad
Trump knows strategy - without a doubt.
Bad stuff sucks - always has. 'BOUT TIME!
38} Summary of his drooling performance about being the baddest assed strongman on EARTH. STRENGTH. SAFETY.
North Korea.
All could go POOF, I guess.
New slogan.
"Don't FUCK with Trump - he's a FUCKING Psychopath."
Good. Right?
Truth is always the best branding.
39} Jeff here....

Hitler is wearing me out.
Countless DEAD people that died tragically being honored... It's like an applause sign for conservatives.
Fucking LONG list.
KellyAnne hustled this week.

Amputations now. NO Drugs.
Starving. Eating Dirt.
I'm lost in a nightmare....
40} Story - a North Korean.
Train ran over him... legs? Gone! Tortured.
Then he met a Christian in China and became free.
Trump could introduce Pakistan or India to a Christian. - or two!
Christianity rinses out the confusion from absolutely anythin.
"Please, Thank YOU," he says.
41} Jeff, here!

I'm in a daze, but I made it.
Good choice YOU made if you're golfing or buying stocks tonight!
Good, clean American fun!
Safe too.
Really safe.

He's gone!
Thank you white Jesus.
He was like sniffy-rage Trump all chilled out... Menacing as fuck.
42} ... still Jeff.

Trump went full-Nazi all night long.
He's a monster.
The speech was a sinister FUCK YOU from an unhinged septuagenarian.
A Mussolini-DREAM in public.

#DACA "Dreamers" are child murdering psychopaths!
Trump brought Grieving GUESTS to prove it.
FU #Dreamers?
43} God Damn!
Our United States of America has our first #MadKing.
Our first Shameless Dictator.
Stock up #GuantanamoBay?

🚨Trump doesn't need a #DEPOSITION on the Russian Investigation!
🎯Trump needs to be #DEPOSED!

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