Thread by @DGlaucomflecken

(First date)

Her: "So what do you do?"

Him: Well I'm applying to med school. If I make it, I'll spend the vast majority of my time studying for the next 4 years. You and I will be able to go on (cheap) dates very occasionally, but even then I'll feel guilty about not studying.

I won't have any money, so you'll have to support me on your income, otherwise I'll have to take out more student loans on top of 40k per year tuition. My parents don't make enough to help with tuition but they make too much for me to get a need based scholarship.

It will take time for me to figure out what kind of doctor I want to be, but my decision will be dictated somewhat by how well I do on a test and if attendings like me personally. This decision will heavily influence my earning potential & how quickly we can pay off my 300k debt

We can get married during med school or residency (elopement might be the best option unless our parents can pay for everything) and can even start having kids if you want. Fortunately I'm a man and having kids in training is generally accepted everywhere.

However, you should know that my res program will only allow 3 days of paternity leave. I'll spend as much time as I can at home with you & the baby, but be prepared for my unpredictable schedule, late evenings and frequent call shifts. I'll be tired and irritable all the time.

You may want your own career and I hope you do. Unfortunately, as much as we both dream about having successful careers, one of us will probably have to make a sacrifice for the other and given that our debt is dependent on my future income, the sacrifice will likely be yours.

If we somehow manage to find careers we both love in the same place at the same time, you will still have to do the lions share of the budgeting, bills, household work and keeping shit together, in addition to your full time job while I slog through 70 hr wks in residency

I'll support whatever career you choose as long as its one where you can leave at a moments notice to pick up sick kids from school or day care. I'll do this when I can, which will be almost never.

After residency I'll maybe get a job with stable hours in a location that will allow you to finally focus on your career. By then you'll be in your 30s and hopefully won't have large gaps in your employment history from having to move every 4 years

I'll do my best to avoid burnout, which will greatly depend on the specialty I chose about 6 years earlier. But for now, I'm just trying to study for the MCAT."

Her: "Oh no I mean how do you order? The menu here is confusing."

NB: I love my job and wouldn't do it any differently. I just wanted to point out the sacrifices spouses make during this process.

Hug your partner tonight and tell them how much you appreciate what they have done for you.