1) @jaketapper, who again is TOTALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM @ChrisCuomo (damn lookalike @cnn anchor crackers), tweeted out McCabe's statement after being fired, probably received it using the same channels McCabe used for leaks. Let take a look.
2) 'I'm a 21 year veteran of the FBI! I spent half of that investigating Russian Organized Crime in New York!' Well, for one, PRETTY sure theres other things that the FBI in New York investigates. But hey, Muh Russia 4 Lyfe, amiright?
3) 'I spent the second half protecting this country from terrorism' Too bad you couldnt prevent: The Boston Marathon bombing, Parkland, Orlando Nightclub, Las Vegas, and who knows how many other terrorist attacks and mass murders.
4) 'I was privileged to serve as Deputy Director during a particularly tough time' I didn't know @Comey was such a shit boss to work under.
5) 'For the last year and a half, my family and I have been under a relentless attack' Whats the saying? Play shitty games, win shitty prizes? Your authority is not above you duty. The minute you thought you had the authority to decide who should be president, you lost it.
6) 'Articles too numerous to count have leveled every sort of false, defamatory, and degrading allegations against us' we could say the same thing about the articles you helped generate with leaks. Made yourself a lightning rod, dont be surprised if you're hit by a few bolts.
7) 'The President's tweets have amplified and exacerbated it all.' When Babe Ruth called what direction his home run hits would fly, did outfielders busy scratching their nuts scream this much?
8) 'He called for my firing and to be stripped of my pension, and we have said nothing' There are Tinder chatlogs with @maggieNYT that say otherwise
9) 'No more'
WATCH OUT! BABY MCCABLEGUY HAS HIS ADULT DEPENDS ON NOW!
WATCH OUT! BABY MCCABLEGUY HAS HIS ADULT DEPENDS ON NOW!
10) 'The OIG investigation has to be understood in the context of the attack on my credibility' No it doesn't. The public hasnt seen it yet. Whatever it was ended up being bad enough to force you into retirement, and then get you fired.
11) "The investigation flows from my attempt to explain the FBI's involvement and my supervision of investigations involving Hillary Clinton." FULL STOP. FULL FUCKING STOP.
12) InvestigationS, as in PLURAL?! @JackPosobiec did you spot this? Wasn't it only the one email server investigation? Were there MORE?!?
13) 'I was being portrayed as a political partisan, accused of closing down investigations under political pressure.' No, you were accused of closing them down via corruption. Big difference. That one you actually benefit from, via donations to your wife's campaign!
14) "The FBI was portrayed as..." Staaaaahp. It wasnt the FBI. It was the FBI leadership. I never went up to a random fucking field agent and said, "You're the reason Clinton wasn't charged!" that would be retarded. You supervised those investigations, YOU were portrayed that way
15) "In fact, this entire investigation stems from my efforts, fully authorized under FBI rules, to set the record straight on behalf of the Bureau" apparently the FBI did not agree with your interpretation of the rules. Going with the Bill Belichick defense?
16) 'I was authorized to talk to the reporter! I did it through a legal counsel! The director knew!' Aaaaand your director also got fired. Your defense is not on as strong of footing as you think it is.
17) 'During the investigation I answered the questions as truthfully and accurately as I could!' What, then they altered the 302's and said you were uncooperative? KARMAS A BITCH AINT IT!
18) 'But the big picture!' Really? Big picture? You just called the DoJ OIG a bunch of liars. I know you're not used to being accountable to them, that they are auditors, soulless monsters who suck your energy away. But they have authority over you. Source: am soulless monster
19) "I'm being singled out" you perpetuated 2 myths. First, that Hillary Clinton was remotely qualified to be president. Second, Muh Russia. Namedropping Russian Organized Crime in New York does not help your case in that regard.
20) 'The release of this report was accelerated only after I said I would corroborate Comey's testimony on meetings with the President' you mean that Comey told Trump 3 times he wasn't under investigation?
21) 'The OIG's focus on me is part of the President's efforts to destroy me!' Ok, lets full stop this again. 1) Horowitz' investigation started January 2017 BEFORE TRUMP WAS INAUGURATED. Second accelerated? Its over a year later. LOT Longer than it took to read the Weiner laptop.
22) 'This is part of a wider effort to taint me and to taint the entire law enforcement and intelligence community!' Nope, for once, this is pretty much all about you chief. Shouldnt have picked sides in an election.
23) 'This wont stop anything, you'll see!' So you're saying you did fire off a couple torpedoes before you left? Great. Thanks for the heads up. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Kthxbai. /end
