Thread by @CrusaderWatch

Well, my follower count has held steady at over a thousand for a week now, so it's time I delivered what was promised.

This is the full testimony of how I came to join the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church

Buckle up, this is gonna be a ride

So, at the beginning

I was not raised in a religious family. We were nominally Methodist, and I went to Sunday school, but it was never a part of the conversation when I was growing up. That's not to say I was raised atheist, it simply wasn't a part of my life.

I grew older, and when I was in middle school, I got confirmed in the United Methodist Church. Despite this, I soon returned to my baseline of not really being religious.

It was at this point I did what every middle class white liberal does: I became spiritual but not religious

What this amounted to was that I would pick and choose bits and pieces of Eastern religions that sounded cool, while ignoring any part that included self denial or having to change my behavior.

It was, at its core, a sort of spiritual masturbation

I got to feel nice and woke, having a spiritual level far greater than that of my peers, without having to change any of my bad habits. I kept doing whatever I jolly well pleased, but with an increasing layer of smug.

A trip to scout camp and a (in hindsight, rather weird) counselor introduced a nice sprinkling of European paganism into this spiritual medley.

Again, I didn't take any lessons from it. I was too much of an individual to have "copy pasted beliefs" like the other sheeple

Around this time, I entered high school, and got my first girlfriend. While I won't go into details, suffice to say that I bought into the modern world's lies, and not a day goes by that I don't regret that.

This was also roughly the time I got hooked on internet porn.

So, I went through the first half of high school in a spiritual haze. My strange assortment of beliefs gave me no guidance (or perhaps I didn't want any guidance) while a number of factors in my life pulled me in a dozen different directions

I was never an atheist. I always knew there was something more than just mankind, but what that was changed from day to day.

Around junior year, I had my first voluntary experience with organized religion.

For about a year, I became a Muslim.

No, I'm not joking.

It was different, it was exotic, and it was "oppressed". My girlfriend was becoming more and more into social justice, and I was becoming uncomfortably aware of how straight, white and male I was. Converting to Islam was an opportunity to gain a few oppression points.

So I went through the motions. I met a Muslim friend, and one Friday he took me to a mosque. The imam asked me three trivia questions and decided that proved I was ready to become a Muslim.

So I stood up in front of the mosque, said the Shahadah, and became the worst Muslim.

I gave up eating pork. That was about it. I didn't pray, I didn't give up any sinful habits, I didn't read to Koran. I had the badge, and I could claim I was part of an oppressed group.

But as time went on, I became aware of two major problems that began to grind on my "faith"

First was community. I know Islam is supposed to be a universal religion, but I began to realize I would never fully belong. I was whiter than fresh fallen snow, with a Christian name, and I didn't speak a word of Arabic. I would never fully be a part of that group

Second was music. I was raised in a very musical family; my mother plays the piano professionally. I had always enjoyed music, including the religious music we sang in my school choir.

Yet even the progressive branches of Islam tend to be skeptical of music.

I couldn't quite reconcile the idea of a loving God and a world without music.

ISIS was also on the rise at the same time, and though I of course Knew that ISIS wasn't Real Islam, all the gears started to grind.

Soon, there was a straw that broke the camel's back.

I was at a voice lesson, and while my twin sister was having her lesson, I was browsing Wikipedia.

I ended up on the page for Crucifixion.

One of the sub headings was "Modern Usage"

"What countries could be so cruel as to still use crucifixion?" I asked

Muslim countries.

I couldn't do it anymore. My faith broke under the weight of so many atrocities and so many excuses. I knew I could not be a Muslim anymore. If the most faithful Muslim countries were so cruel, I knew I couldn't be one.

But now what?

I had tasted of organized religion, and I had gotten hooked. It was nice being a part of something larger, and not having to rely on my own judgement. So I began to look for something else. Two other things happened in my life at this time that would impact this search.

First, I broke up with my girlfriend. This freed me from having to choose an "oppressed" religion, and ensured the one I chose would really be my choice.

Second, I took a class in Western Philosophy. It was my first intro to the basic principles of logic, and changed my life.

The biggest takeaway was the absolute nature of truth. Their is either one true faith, or there is none. Whatever faith I came to, I would hold it completely. No more medleys.

Thus armed, I began my search at the one I was most familiar with: Christianity.

My school choir went on a tour to Chicago, so I downloaded a Bible app and would read the Four Gospels during the tour. The plan was simple: I would read the Gospels, realize how unwoke and out of date they were, and cross Christianity off the list.

It...didn't go that way

I was struck by the wisdom. Moral lessons I had known deep down, but couldn't put a name to were taught, so simply and clearly. I knew this contained truth.

It also contained beauty. I was moved to tears by the description of Christ's Passion.

So, when I got home, I knew. Christianity had what I was looking for. The Gospels alone convinces me. I had found my faith, but now I faced an even more daunting decision: I had to find a church.

I knew I would not return to my childhood church. Even at the time, I knew the Methodists were too milquetoast.

If these people don't seem really believe their doctrine, why should I follow it?

So I started going down the list of denominations.

Baptist?

They're kinda crazy.

Presbyterian?

Not really crazy enough.

Calvinist?

Predestination is BS

Orthodox?

I'm not Slavic or Greek

Lutheran?

Maybe, but...Luther was an incredibly neurotic person

So, in the end, I narrowed it down to three choices.

I would be Episcopalian, non-denom Prot, or...Catholic. And I was pretty sure I would be Episcopalian. It was a standard, respectable religion. I wouldn't have to give up any of my woke beliefs. I had plenty of Episcopal friends. It would be an easy church to join, and yet...

It was those same friends that held me back. They didn't act any differently than my secular friends. Again, I asked myself: if they don't believe their doctrine...why should I?

It all came to a head one niggt I've always been a historian, so I approach the question historically

When you get down to it, the Anglican Church was not founded because of deep-seated theological debates. It was not founded because of the corruption of Rome.

It was founded because King Henry VIII wanted to bang a new woman and the Church wouldn't let him.

That is not a good foundation for the One True Faith. So, I (sadly) crossed Episcopalian off the list. I now had two choices. There was a Catholic Church near my house, so I met with some family friends and arranged to go to mass with them. It was a repeat of the Gospel situation

I would go to the mass, reaffirm my belief that the Catholic Church was old and stuffy, and enjoy a nice easy life as a Woke non-denominational Protestant.

I attended the Palm Sunday mass.

It was one of the most beautiful events I have every attended.

inb4 someone summons Chinglican to go "UM, ACKHTUALLY"

I had never seen such a resonant, affirming faith. Roughly 400 people, all doing the same motions, affirming the same belief. That was the sense of community I had missed.

There was one moment in particular that sealed it for me.

The priest took the thurible, and used it to bless the gifts. The smoke wafted up, and the sun came through the stained glass windows to form a smoky rainbow arching above the crucifix.

To this day, I can remember exactly what it looked like

I came home, and I realized something else.

The language was different, and some of the details had changed.

But fundamentally, that was the same mass my ancestors heard in the Scottish highlands centuries ago.

And I realized you could trace that back to the apostles.

From that moment, I knew. I had found the Truth, and I could go nowhere else. I had gotten a taste of what the Catholic Church offered, and I knew I could get it nowhere else.

I knew I had to drink the full draught.

So, I contacted the Church and asked to meet with their RICA director. I met with her, asked and answered a few questions, and I learned what the process would entail. My heart sank when I learned it would be a full year before I would fully get confirmed, but I resigned myself

Shortly after, I meet (and quickly began dating) the girl who I'm now certain will be my wife. She kept me connected to the faith during that summer after high school. She was a reminder of what awaited me, a picture of the fulfillment I had caught a glimpse of.

It was difficult. Still is. I had to change a lot of beliefs, and give up a lot of habits.

But, for the first time in my life, I did change. My spiritual conversion was accompanied by a material one.

When I got to college in the fall, I enrolled in RCIA at the parish.

The following Easter, I was confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church, and for the first time, I consumed the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I was home.