TRASH TALKING CANADIAN CITIES OTHER THAN TORONTO: A THREAD
VANCOUVER: the old joke is "it's full of hippies" and that simply isn't true because the hippies all either moved away or sold out like bandits to start artisanal restaurants where you can only buy $25 kombucha
CALGARY: elected it's first non-white-dude mayor and now pretends that this makes it the coolest ever
Calgary is that kid you knew in high school who one summer "discovered" the Happy Mondays and thought it made them elite
Calgary is that kid you knew in high school who one summer "discovered" the Happy Mondays and thought it made them elite
VICTORIA: if the city motto isn't "Victoria: A Pleasant Place To Gradually Die" it should be
EDMONTON: their biggest and most famous tourist attraction is *literally a mall*
REGINA AND SASKATOON: trash talking anywhere in Saskatchewan is the definition of redundancy
WINNIPEG: pick one of "too much snow" or "too many bugs" then multiply it by ten and that is any given day in the 'Peg
OTTAWA: like Victoria, except replace the beauty of the Pacific Ocean with a figurative ocean of federal government bureaucrats who get angry when they can't get home by four-thirty on any given weekday
HAMILTON: hahaha no
MONTREAL: you know how in the movie PATENTHOOD there's the one kid who's the cool daring go-getter and then he steals Jason Robards' car and takes off to abandon his son? Like that
QUEBEC: distinct and beautiful and racist, the Prussian Blue of Canadian cities
FREDERICTON: I would trash talk them but the McCains might get angry if I mocked their wholly owned subsidiary
MONCTON: nobody can ever remember which city is Fredericton and which is Moncton, including all of the residents of both cities
CHARLOTTETOWN: I'm sorry this thread is for trash talking Canadian cities and not small towns we all decided, out of pity, to pretend was a real grown-up city
HALIFAX: whenever you ask someone from Halifax what they miss about it, their answer is inevitably "donair" which is a shitty version of shawarma that comes in sugar sauce; THAT is what they miss first and foremost
ST. JOHN'S: the worst case of "we have everything [much bigger city] has to offer" in possibly the entire western world, except when then they are specifically talking about the number of alcoholics
SURREY, MISSISSAUGA, BRAMPTON, GATINEAU, LAVAL, ETC: I'm sorry this was a thread trash talking Canadian cities, not remora fish
