Thread by @SultanaSafeerah

The Traumatic Foundation of Male Homosexuality - Joseph Nicolosi

the general rule remains: If a child is traumatized in a particular way that affects gender, he will become homosexual..

Many gay men report sexual abuse by a same-sexed person during their boyhood.

Homosexual behavior is a symptomatic attempt to “repair” the original wound that left the boy alienated from the innate masculinity that he has failed to claim.

This differentiates it from heterosexuality, which arises naturally from undisturbed gender-identity development.

Thus, homosexuality is inherently rooted in conflict:

conflict about the acceptance of one’s natural gender, conflict in the parent-child relationship, and usually, conflict regarding ostracism by same-sex peers.

This means we will see the emergence of dominance-submission themes contaminating gay relationships.

For the homosexually oriented man, sexuality is an attempt to incorporate, “take in,” and “master” another male. It functions as a symbolic “possession” of the other person....

There are some exceptions to the trauma model of homosexual development.
We have found at our clinic another form of homosexuality that is characterized by a mutual, affectional attachment, most often seen in our adolescent clients and in some immature adults.

....a romantic adolescent quality—an infatuation that has a sexual manifestation.

Such liaisons may occur for a period of months or years and then be abandoned, never to be resumed, as this phase of attraction passes.

It felt exciting and intense, something between us, a shared secret. I had no other friends and my lousy relationship with my father didn’t help. I was looking for friendship…[but] the intensity of the memory… I hate it. The whole thing is just disgusting, disturbing…. -client

This client had made the following association: “In order to receive the good: i.e. ‘love’ and ‘attention,’ I must accept myself as shameful and bad: engaging in activity which is ‘frightening,’ ‘forbidden,’ ‘dirty,’ and ‘disgusting.’ ”

There is an entire gay subculture of public sex that revels in the thrill of acting out in places like parks, public bathrooms and truck stops, and is erotically driven by the fear of discovery and exposure.

The act of sodomy itself is intrinsically masochistic. Anal intercourse, as a violation of our bodily design, is unhealthy and anatomically destructive, damaging the rectum and spreading disease because the rectal tissues are fragile and porous.

No wonder we see so much dissatisfaction in the gay world; not just because of society’s disapproval, but because the man who lives in that world, senses the futility of a gay identity.

While reading that article, I kept thinking about single-sex boarding schools. This also applies to girls.

There’s the experimental infatuation stage in secondary boarding schools. Some get over the phase. Some are traumatized and continue to molest others.

As for trauma, in a few 90s series, when the “agenda” of introducing same sex couples started, the initially heterosexual person goes through a bad break-up then tries homosexuality or falls into it while comforted by a same-sex character

cue in Northern Nigeria where polygamous homes, divorced parent children, and even bad monogamous marriages, have a lot of neglected children, vulnerable to abuse and homosexual advances, in the quest of seeking acceptance and feeling loved.

the absent father is also a factor. He’s either too busy chasing women other than his wives, traveling for “business”, not affectionate towards his children, and the household is left with no father figure.
Don’t leave out the trauma of a child seeing mother mistreated by father.

It’s not uncommon to hear stories of father’s competing with their sons over young girls, or daughters seeing their father’s car parked outside their friends house, or avoiding certain places to avoid seeing father’s there after telling the mothers they are out of town. Smh

In fact, the world is so messed up there’s a divorce diary post on a lady who caught her father screwing her husband.
Same site had another story of another traumatized wife who caught her man with his best friend.
TF is wrong?

Fathers need to be responsible! so the sons don’t stray.
This is why I don’t like almajiri schools. Many are molested by the so called teachers and senior boys.
As a father, how can you abandon your son to that kind of abuse?

Many known gay people in arewa are in it for the money. Our people think girls should be protected, not knowing many young guys also fall victim to predators who promise them jobs & money for anal sex. Cycle of abuse continues.
Same gay predator pay for the gay boy’s wedding too

same goes for women who are married but fool around with other women. they blame their husbands for being negligent and so they play around with their friends. it’s not an excuse of course, go through their history and you’ll find a traumatic experience.

even young promiscuous girls that are looked down upon have a history of being exposed to unwanted sexual contact in their early years.
it’s also not uncommon to hear, “baban wani ya bude mata ido” , “Alhaji kaza ya fara bata ta”

why are we doing this to our ummah?

scary thing is, this has been happening when exposure to filth was at a bare minimum, but today’s perversion is on full blast, all around us, disguised as freedom, the norm, as trendy. Add neglectful parenting and bad mentoring...and we have a disaster.

“I seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan the Accursed.”
Qur’an: Surah Nahl, Ayat 98

Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility.
A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them.
(Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

May Allah guide us & protect us all.