Thread alert. Louis CK had almost a year to think about what he'd say in his first public appearance. He had lots of time to think about every word he'd say. He decided one of his jokes had to be about rape. I still can't believe that. And I wrote this: hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/loui…
When you are a woman and you write about sexual violence, assault, harassment and setting boundaries, you get abuse. I've gotten a lot in the last 24 hours. MOST of the response to that piece has been heartening. But I'd love for folks to read this thread. Because...
There's a terrifying lack of understanding (some willful, some ignorance) about what constitutes rape, assault, harassment & why those things are damaging. Lot of emails/replies saying "it wasn't rape, shut up." Like jerking off is a normal thing people do at parties, at work.
It's not just that Louis CK harmed women with the actions that he fully admitted to. His management intimidated into silence those harmed human beings & they are struggling to be heard even now. This thread from LCK survivors is heartbreaking, angering:
And of course what is the first response of the comedy club manager at the center of the Louis CK situation, @NoamDworman is whether LCK should be allowed to perform again. That's entirely the wrong question. The wrong question keeps being asked.
I'm going to speak to men in comedy now. It applies to other realms too, but let me break it down for @NoamDworman & every other man in comedy: Why isn't your first question about what you can do to help survivors of abuse in your community & help prevent further abuse & assault?
There's zero upside for white women, women of color, men of color, LGBTQ folks in the comedy community to speak up about abuse, assault & gatekeeping--but some have. For years. They are not being heard. They are often shouted down, exiled, excluded, bullied & further harassed.
For all of us, esp those in comedy, an email I woke up to describes the state of play. This is where we're at. In my busy career of finding scumbags--you know, the *real* bad people--I'll take a break to ask: If you're not OK with this mindset, what are you doing to change it? 
Real question not just for @NoamDworman but other comedy gatekeepers, club owners: Are your insurers real thrilled with you putting patrons, employees and comics in the room with serial harassers & assaulters? You should care about way, way more than that, but that's a start.
In my reporting, I run into this a TON: If someone didnt put hands on another human, what's the big deal? If you run into this mindset &you have the bandwidth, educate those people. If they won't learn, eject them from your community. They won't respect healthy, clear boundaries.
Number of folks from marginalized communities who are driven out by harassment, bullying, abuse, assault & more, in Hollywood & comedy, is huge. For the most part bullies & monsters get to abuse their power & the power players won't set clear limits & enforce real consequences.
Obligatory tweet to say that yes, this occurs in every profession. I am aware and do all I can to fight it everywhere. But this is the world I know and have reported on for 25 years. I know its massively skewed power dynamics very, very well. They're still fucked. Very.
All of this is hard. All of us have been let down by people we thought would do better, we thought *were* better. It sucks, all of it, because this shit is complicated and it's hard to accept with some abusers being people we'd liked, been helped by or even admired. I get it.
Men in comedy: You know this dudebro. You've hung out with him. You know the type. What are you doing to change how acceptable his worldview is? How are you moving this noxious Overton window? Don't call yourself an ally unless you're willing to have this bro tell you to fuck off
Because let me tell you, the queer folks, the men and women of color, the white women, they're all real goddam tired of running into that guy everywhere they go. Comedy is about power dynamics. That guy wants the assholes to win. Do you? Sincere question. That's my time, thanks!
"Forgiveness demands accountability & accountability cannot happen without listening to the voices of the abused. We must not take away their agency; to forget them would be a disservice. These stories do not belong to abusers. They belong to survivors." harrisonline.com/about-that-lou…
Jumping back into this thread real quick to note that the owner of the Comedy Cellar is absolutely a huge part of the problem in this corner of the world, and I wanted to vomit while reading this slate.com/culture/2018/0…
Another addition to this thread: If you're struggling with issues of self-esteem, dating, relationships, boundaries, interpersonal issues and life stuff, I think @CAwkward and @DrNerdLove & @hhavrilesky's Ask Polly do good work in these arenas thecut.com/author/heather…
This piece by @HanaMichels on rape, harassment and widespread misogyny in the comedy community is a must-read. vox.com/platform/amp/f…
