MISSING
“Honey! I can't find my penis.” Tayo whispered
“You must be joking.” Funke said adjusting her wedding gown.
“May the Bride and groom proceed to make their vows.” The pastor called out.
Funke gave him a stern look.
Tayo‘s reaction.
#feeltheeagle
Brethren Issa crazy thread
“Honey! I can't find my penis.” Tayo whispered
“You must be joking.” Funke said adjusting her wedding gown.
“May the Bride and groom proceed to make their vows.” The pastor called out.
Funke gave him a stern look.
Tayo‘s reaction.
#feeltheeagle
Brethren Issa crazy thread
Tayo woke up feeling excited. It was his wedding day.
With high expectations he knew this was going to be the best day of his life.
With high expectations he knew this was going to be the best day of his life.
Segun & Shola, his best friends walked in.
“At last, you’ll get laid today.”
“Yes O! The wait was worth it.”
“Na man you be. I can’t even stay a week without it. Talk more of staying with one woman.” Shola remarked.
“Sex is sweet but before marriage it is a sin.” Tayo retorted
“At last, you’ll get laid today.”
“Yes O! The wait was worth it.”
“Na man you be. I can’t even stay a week without it. Talk more of staying with one woman.” Shola remarked.
“Sex is sweet but before marriage it is a sin.” Tayo retorted
“You haven’t entered marriage and you are already giving advice.”
“Hahahaha.” all the grooms men laughed.
“Married sex is the best. Imagine having a heated sex romp with your wife minutes before a communion service without any guilt.” Segun who had kept mute all the while added.
“Hahahaha.” all the grooms men laughed.
“Married sex is the best. Imagine having a heated sex romp with your wife minutes before a communion service without any guilt.” Segun who had kept mute all the while added.
“Says the man who has been tuned to one channel for the past 3 years.” Shola joked.
“My wife is everything. There’s no need to get it outside.” Segun asserted.
Shola’s reply.
“My wife is everything. There’s no need to get it outside.” Segun asserted.
Shola’s reply.
“When I get married, I’ll stick to my wife. For now, let me enjoy the fun.” Shola grinned.
“If you cannot stick to one woman now, you’ll never do it when you’re married.” Said segun.
“If you cannot stick to one woman now, you’ll never do it when you’re married.” Said segun.
“Can I ask a question?” Shola asked.
“Yes.” They chorused.
“Who in the bible did God bless directly with wisdom?”
“Solomon.” They chorused.
“How many wives did he marry?”
“300 wives.”
“And he still played away match with 700 concubines. There is wisdom in chasing women.”
“Yes.” They chorused.
“Who in the bible did God bless directly with wisdom?”
“Solomon.” They chorused.
“How many wives did he marry?”
“300 wives.”
“And he still played away match with 700 concubines. There is wisdom in chasing women.”
“Shola, you need deliverance. I give up on you.” Tayo grinned.
“Marriage is not all about sex. Get dressed we don’t have much time.” Tayo’s dad interrupted.
“Marriage is not all about sex. Get dressed we don’t have much time.” Tayo’s dad interrupted.
In less than an hour, Tayo arrived at the church with his grooms men Looking dapper in suit. Awon #sweetboysassociation.
People wished Tayo felicitations as they entered.
People wished Tayo felicitations as they entered.
While they waited patiently for the bride to arrive, a man walked up to them.
He oozed all forms of wealth.
“Can I speak with the groom privately?” He said pointing at Tayo.
He oozed all forms of wealth.
“Can I speak with the groom privately?” He said pointing at Tayo.
“Do you know him?” Shola whispered.
“No. But let’s hear what he has to say.”
“You can speak with us.” Tayo persuaded.
“No. But let’s hear what he has to say.”
“You can speak with us.” Tayo persuaded.
“If you insist. I have something special for You.” The man said bringing out a cheque.
He handed it over to Tayo.
“N250k! Thank you sir.” Tayo said as he collected it.
“I have to leave now for an important meeting. I would have stayed for your wedding. Regards to your parents.”
He handed it over to Tayo.
“N250k! Thank you sir.” Tayo said as he collected it.
“I have to leave now for an important meeting. I would have stayed for your wedding. Regards to your parents.”
They bid him farewell as he entered his Range Rover and zoomed off.
“Can I hold it for you?” Shola begged.
“I don’t trust you in things like this.” Tayo quickly put the cheque in his breast pocket.
Minutes later.
The bridal train arrived.
Shola tuned into character as he watched out for his next catch from the bridal train.
“I don’t trust you in things like this.” Tayo quickly put the cheque in his breast pocket.
Minutes later.
The bridal train arrived.
Shola tuned into character as he watched out for his next catch from the bridal train.
Tayo grinned as he saw Funke his Bride looking beautiful in her wedding gown.
She gave him a wink.
He smiled.
She gave him a wink.
He smiled.
As the service was going on.
Tayo felt a vibration around his groin. He felt lighter and lighter as minutes went by.
He touched his pubic region. It was plain.
His reaction.
Tayo felt a vibration around his groin. He felt lighter and lighter as minutes went by.
He touched his pubic region. It was plain.
His reaction.
“Honey! I cant find my penis.” Tayo whispered.
“You must be joking.” Funke said adjusting her wedding gown.
She stylishly touched his pubic region it was plain.
Her reaction.
“You must be joking.” Funke said adjusting her wedding gown.
She stylishly touched his pubic region it was plain.
Her reaction.
“May the Bride and groom proceed to make their vows.” The pastor called out.
Funke gave him a stern look of disapproval.
Tayo ‘s reaction.
Tayo ‘s reaction.
“May the bride and groom proceed to the altar to make their vows.” The pastor called out again.
If you were in Funke’s shoes, what would you do?
If you were in Funke’s shoes, what would you do?
Tayo felt uneasy as they approached the altar.
He was sweating profusely.
“Pastor! MY PENIS IS GONE! Someone took it!” Tayo wailed.
He opened his Zip.
He opened his Zip.
The pastors reaction.
Según and Shola’s reaction.
The Congregation.
“I can’t spend the rest of my life with a Dickless husband.” She said leaving Tayo at the altar.
He ran after her.
“Honey, Please don’t do this to me.”
“I have kept my virginity till today and you expect me to take the marriage vows knowing you don’t have a dick. I should have just been a Nun.” She asserted.
“Honey, Please don’t do this to me.”
“I have kept my virginity till today and you expect me to take the marriage vows knowing you don’t have a dick. I should have just been a Nun.” She asserted.
“What do we do?”
“We? When you find your penis you can come back for me.” She entered the car and ordered the driver to zoom off.
How Tayo felt as she left.
“We? When you find your penis you can come back for me.” She entered the car and ordered the driver to zoom off.
How Tayo felt as she left.
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In tears he narrated his ordeal to the press.
People tried to console him.
Tayo and Funke’s parents approached him.
“We saw a man hand you a paper.” Tayo’s dad asserted.
“Yes Dad. It was a cheque of N250k.”
“We saw a man hand you a paper.” Tayo’s dad asserted.
“Yes Dad. It was a cheque of N250k.”
He brought it out and showed them.
They both refused to touch it.
They both refused to touch it.
Do you know him?” Tayo’s Dad enquired.
“No, I felt he was your friend or a friend to the brides family?”
“We don’t know him.” Both parents chorused.
Tunde burst into uncontrollable tears.
“No, I felt he was your friend or a friend to the brides family?”
“We don’t know him.” Both parents chorused.
Tunde burst into uncontrollable tears.
*Tayo.*
Without much thought he grabbed Segun’s car key and zoomed off. They chased after him with another car. They felt he could do something crazy.
He arrived at 3rd mainland bridge. His parents begged as he was set to jump.
He arrived at 3rd mainland bridge. His parents begged as he was set to jump.
“I’ve lost 2 things that matter most to me in one day. There’s nothing worth living for.” Tayo wailed.
“You still have us.” His parents begged.
A crowd gathered watching the drama unfold.
“I’m sorry dad.” Without much thought he jumped into the lagoon.
“You still have us.” His parents begged.
A crowd gathered watching the drama unfold.
“I’m sorry dad.” Without much thought he jumped into the lagoon.
Like this.
His mum fainted.
His mum fainted.
He woke up from his nightmare screaming and sweating profusely.
He checked his manhood, It was intact.
He thanked God it was just a dream.
He thanked God it was just a dream.
He quickly grabbed his towel as time was running out for his wedding.
Segun & Shola, his best friends walked in. “Bro At last, you’ll get laid today.”
“Yes O! The wait was….” He paused.
Everything looked like Dejavu as he watched them argue about sex and sticking to one woman.
Segun & Shola, his best friends walked in. “Bro At last, you’ll get laid today.”
“Yes O! The wait was….” He paused.
Everything looked like Dejavu as he watched them argue about sex and sticking to one woman.
They arrived at the church. While guests trooped in to greet them. A man walked up to them.
"May I speak with the groom?"
Tayo looked up. He had a striking resemblance with the man in his dream.
"May I speak with the groom?"
Tayo looked up. He had a striking resemblance with the man in his dream.
He handed Tayo an envelope.
“Accept this as my gift since I won’t stay till the end of your wedding. It’s a cheque of N250k.” The man persuaded.
“Accept this as my gift since I won’t stay till the end of your wedding. It’s a cheque of N250k.” The man persuaded.
If you were in Tayo’s shoes what will you do?
Tayo rejected it.
The man walked towards the car park looking disappointed and embarrassed.
“Why would you reject such?” Shola and segun asked.
“Why would you reject such?” Shola and segun asked.
Tayo narrated his dream.
They laughed at him.
They laughed at him.
“So you’re scared of collecting money because of a crazy dream?” Shola joked.
“My penis is not worth the risk. Besides, I have an important Match today.” Tayo Shrugged.
“My penis is not worth the risk. Besides, I have an important Match today.” Tayo Shrugged.
As they walked into the hall Shola excused them.
“I need to ease myself before the wedding starts.”
Tayo looked back, he saw Shola head gracefully towards the car park ignoring the route to the toilet.
“I need to ease myself before the wedding starts.”
Tayo looked back, he saw Shola head gracefully towards the car park ignoring the route to the toilet.
The bridal train arrived. Funke gave Tayo a wink as she walked in.
He could feel butterflies in his tummy.
“May the Bride and groom proceed to make their vows.” The pastor called out.
In joy they recited their vows.
He could feel butterflies in his tummy.
“May the Bride and groom proceed to make their vows.” The pastor called out.
In joy they recited their vows.
The pastor held their hands together.
I now pronounce you Husband and …”
Suddenly a loud scream came from behind interrupting the pastor.
I now pronounce you Husband and …”
Suddenly a loud scream came from behind interrupting the pastor.
“MY PENIS IS GONE!!!! HELP ME!!!! MY PENIS IS GONE!!!” Shola wailed holding an envelope in tears.
***The End.***
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If you enjoyed the thread. Kindly retweet.
I'll follow everyone who retweets.
Just a heads up.
I wont be posting Next week.
I'll be back on October 9. I have a project to handle guys.
Check my pinned tweet for other threads you may have missed.
Keep soaring🦅
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